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Friday, April 30, 2004
MINDLESS FUN
In the vein of the old 'Kevin Bacon Game,' I bring to you "Six Degrees of Instapundit."
Essentially: how many permalinks separate your wee little blog from the undisputed King of the 'Sphere?
Clareified is at a respectable 3!
Instapundit links to Misha, Misha links to Spot On and Spot On links to yours truly!
What's your Instapundit Number?
In the vein of the old 'Kevin Bacon Game,' I bring to you "Six Degrees of Instapundit."
Essentially: how many permalinks separate your wee little blog from the undisputed King of the 'Sphere?
Clareified is at a respectable 3!
Instapundit links to Misha, Misha links to Spot On and Spot On links to yours truly!
What's your Instapundit Number?
McCain's Pissed
For those of you with better things to do than read blogs all day, Nightline plans to run a tribute to the 'Operation Iraqi Freedom' dead American soldiers. One affiliate claims this is anti-Bush propoganda and will not air the tribute. Senator John McCain had a few choice words:
"There is no valid reason for Sinclair to shirk its responsibility in what I assume is a very misguided attempt to prevent your viewers from completely appreciating the extraordinary sacrifices made on their behalf by Americans serving in Iraq. War is an awful, but sometimes necessary business. Your decision to deny your viewers an opportunity to be reminded of war's terrible costs, in all their heartbreaking detail, is a gross disservice to the public, and to the men and women of the United States Armed Forces. It is, in short, sir, unpatriotic. I hope it meets with the public opprobrium it most certainly deserves. "
Woah.
For those of you with better things to do than read blogs all day, Nightline plans to run a tribute to the 'Operation Iraqi Freedom' dead American soldiers. One affiliate claims this is anti-Bush propoganda and will not air the tribute. Senator John McCain had a few choice words:
"There is no valid reason for Sinclair to shirk its responsibility in what I assume is a very misguided attempt to prevent your viewers from completely appreciating the extraordinary sacrifices made on their behalf by Americans serving in Iraq. War is an awful, but sometimes necessary business. Your decision to deny your viewers an opportunity to be reminded of war's terrible costs, in all their heartbreaking detail, is a gross disservice to the public, and to the men and women of the United States Armed Forces. It is, in short, sir, unpatriotic. I hope it meets with the public opprobrium it most certainly deserves. "
Woah.
RANDOM THOUGHT
Does anyone else think it's ridiculous that the U.S. is still at war with Afghanistan? I mean really, almost 3 years and we're still duking it out with cavemen. Howze about we withdraw the troops and send in the nukes? I'm just sayin'.
Does anyone else think it's ridiculous that the U.S. is still at war with Afghanistan? I mean really, almost 3 years and we're still duking it out with cavemen. Howze about we withdraw the troops and send in the nukes? I'm just sayin'.
Thursday, April 29, 2004
DIPLO-BABBLE VS. BABBLE BABBLE
The choice couldn't be clearer:
"As I say, I came away good about the session, because I wanted them to know, you know, how I set strategy, how we run the White House, how we deal with threats. This is an important commission, and it's important that they ask the questions they asked so that they can help make recommendations necessary to better protect our homeland. And — but it was — I enjoyed it."
- President George Walker Bush, April 29, 2004
via Int'l News.
The choice couldn't be clearer:
"As I say, I came away good about the session, because I wanted them to know, you know, how I set strategy, how we run the White House, how we deal with threats. This is an important commission, and it's important that they ask the questions they asked so that they can help make recommendations necessary to better protect our homeland. And — but it was — I enjoyed it."
- President George Walker Bush, April 29, 2004
via Int'l News.
EWWWWWWWWW
There is nothing about this story that doesn't make my skin crawl.
Cats vomit?
Dogs eat insects?
A once every-17-years mating ritual? I thought the Simpsons made that up for Comic Book guy.
There is nothing about this story that doesn't make my skin crawl.
Cats vomit?
Dogs eat insects?
A once every-17-years mating ritual? I thought the Simpsons made that up for Comic Book guy.
CRY ME A RIVER
Airlines say "new tax" to pay for added security measures will be the difference between breaking even and losing money.
Maybe each CEO could chip in a few million for the cause. It's not like they're paying federal taxes anymore.
Airlines say "new tax" to pay for added security measures will be the difference between breaking even and losing money.
Maybe each CEO could chip in a few million for the cause. It's not like they're paying federal taxes anymore.
THIS ONE'S FOR MA PEEPS
Can nerdy corporate lawyers be called "peeps"? Anyway, the following exchange took place at one of my depositions:
Lawyer 1: Do you know what this message means?
Opposing Lawyer: Wait, does the witness know what it means now or did she know what it meant when she got it?
Lawyer 1: Fair point. Ok, let me ask it in a compound way: Do you know, sitting here today what it means and did you know then what it meant?
Opposing Lawyer: Objection. Compound Question.
Whole room bursts into laughter.
Can nerdy corporate lawyers be called "peeps"? Anyway, the following exchange took place at one of my depositions:
Lawyer 1: Do you know what this message means?
Opposing Lawyer: Wait, does the witness know what it means now or did she know what it meant when she got it?
Lawyer 1: Fair point. Ok, let me ask it in a compound way: Do you know, sitting here today what it means and did you know then what it meant?
Opposing Lawyer: Objection. Compound Question.
Whole room bursts into laughter.
THAT'S MY VILE, DISGUSTING IDEA
Yuri Geller sues ABC over show "win-my-baby" reality show. Yes, the spoon bending guy.
Yuri Geller sues ABC over show "win-my-baby" reality show. Yes, the spoon bending guy.
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
2004 Better Things To Do on Election Day
... Than vote for George W. Bush.
Dear Pennsylvania Conservatives,
As you know by now, Pat Toomey fell to Arlen Specter yesterday.
Thanks, in part to the meddling of the President in your state's election. What happened to the promises of state sovereignty and trusting the people. Your President has betrayed you. Now, I'm not suggesting you vote for John Kerry (I mean c'mon who wants to vote for John Kerry). However, it's time to send President Bush a message. He has turned his back on fiscal conservatism, his administration thinks it's ok for your jobs, not only to be shipped overseas, but also to be filled by illegal immigrants.
Enough is enough.
He wants to persuade the "swing voters" so much, let them re-elect him in November. You stay home with your kids, and your bible and your guns.
Look, don't worry Kerry can't win -- no matter what -- however, if you sit this one out, Bush's victory margin will be small enough that the RNC will hear your anger loud and clear.
You will be taken seriously and once again have a hand in shaping your party which has been hijacked by these "moderates."
So this is my call -- let's come up with 2004 better things to do with your election day than vote for Geroge W. Bush.
(I got a two-letter suggestion: WB).
Show President Bush what happens to "middle-of-the-roaders."
... Than vote for George W. Bush.
Dear Pennsylvania Conservatives,
As you know by now, Pat Toomey fell to Arlen Specter yesterday.
Thanks, in part to the meddling of the President in your state's election. What happened to the promises of state sovereignty and trusting the people. Your President has betrayed you. Now, I'm not suggesting you vote for John Kerry (I mean c'mon who wants to vote for John Kerry). However, it's time to send President Bush a message. He has turned his back on fiscal conservatism, his administration thinks it's ok for your jobs, not only to be shipped overseas, but also to be filled by illegal immigrants.
Enough is enough.
He wants to persuade the "swing voters" so much, let them re-elect him in November. You stay home with your kids, and your bible and your guns.
Look, don't worry Kerry can't win -- no matter what -- however, if you sit this one out, Bush's victory margin will be small enough that the RNC will hear your anger loud and clear.
You will be taken seriously and once again have a hand in shaping your party which has been hijacked by these "moderates."
So this is my call -- let's come up with 2004 better things to do with your election day than vote for Geroge W. Bush.
(I got a two-letter suggestion: WB).
Show President Bush what happens to "middle-of-the-roaders."
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
Secret Service Investigates Fifteen-year-old Artist
High Schooler's artwork considered "a threat to the President."
There is a phrase for this.
High Schooler's artwork considered "a threat to the President."
There is a phrase for this.
Sick Sad World
Doing some research this afternoon I came across this case, Stagl v. Delta Airlines, 52 F.3d 463. Here are the relevant background facts.
"1993, Mrs. Stagl, then 77 years old, was a passenger on a Delta flight from Orlando, Florida to LaGuardia Airport in New York City. The plane was delayed for approximately one-half hour, and Mrs. Stagl noted that upon its arrival in New York the passengers were visibly upset. .... Mrs. Stagl describes the Delta terminal as "bedlam." According to her, "people were crowded around the baggage carousel and everyone seemed in a hurry to get out of the airport." Moreover, they were "rowdy and unruly, pushing and shoving each other, grabbing their luggage from the moving carousel by whatever means possible."
....
In an attempt to reclaim her own belongings, Mrs. Stagl made her way to the "front rank" of the throng surrounding the baggage carousel. Apparently, an unidentified man to one side of her reached across the conveyor belt, grabbed his satchel with great force, and unwittingly triggered a domino effect. His bag collided with another's suitcase, which, in turn, fell off the carousel, toppling Mrs. Stagl. As a result, she suffered a broken hip.
Did everyone laugh at the picture of the little old lady crushed by domino suitcases? You know, kinda like the Wicked Witch of the West with her ruby-slippered feet sticking out from under the house? hahahahahhahahahahaha
No? Eh, maybe they're right and it's just me.
Now, there's a broken hip in my future.
Aw man.
Doing some research this afternoon I came across this case, Stagl v. Delta Airlines, 52 F.3d 463. Here are the relevant background facts.
"1993, Mrs. Stagl, then 77 years old, was a passenger on a Delta flight from Orlando, Florida to LaGuardia Airport in New York City. The plane was delayed for approximately one-half hour, and Mrs. Stagl noted that upon its arrival in New York the passengers were visibly upset. .... Mrs. Stagl describes the Delta terminal as "bedlam." According to her, "people were crowded around the baggage carousel and everyone seemed in a hurry to get out of the airport." Moreover, they were "rowdy and unruly, pushing and shoving each other, grabbing their luggage from the moving carousel by whatever means possible."
....
In an attempt to reclaim her own belongings, Mrs. Stagl made her way to the "front rank" of the throng surrounding the baggage carousel. Apparently, an unidentified man to one side of her reached across the conveyor belt, grabbed his satchel with great force, and unwittingly triggered a domino effect. His bag collided with another's suitcase, which, in turn, fell off the carousel, toppling Mrs. Stagl. As a result, she suffered a broken hip.
Did everyone laugh at the picture of the little old lady crushed by domino suitcases? You know, kinda like the Wicked Witch of the West with her ruby-slippered feet sticking out from under the house? hahahahahhahahahahaha
No? Eh, maybe they're right and it's just me.
Now, there's a broken hip in my future.
Aw man.
California Governor Wins Women's Group Award
His wife praises his compassion.
That's great, Maria. But I think it's his affection that people had a problem with.
His wife praises his compassion.
That's great, Maria. But I think it's his affection that people had a problem with.
Monday, April 26, 2004
SO ME
I am officially adding this to my wish list.
What do you mean you didn't know I had a wish list?
I am officially adding this to my wish list.
What do you mean you didn't know I had a wish list?
MORE THAN TEN MINUTES FROM NORMAL
Karen Hughes thinks pro-choice is pro-terror.
Good thing she doesn't speak for the President anymore.
Karen Hughes thinks pro-choice is pro-terror.
Good thing she doesn't speak for the President anymore.
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Right To Live
Today 100,000 marched in Washington in support of abortion rights.
Last week, Dick Cheney outlined the President's position on the issue: "Bush supports abortion only in cases of rape or incest when a woman's life is endangered." He said it was about protecting the weakest members of our society.
But the rationale and the ultimate position seem incompatible.
"Hello there little fetus deserving to be born, we are going to murder you because your father is also your grandfather."
"Yeah, I know you're an innocent little fetus, but we've got to execute you because your father raped your mother in an alley."
It's curious. Either abortion is murder of an innocent little fetus deserving of every protection or it ain't. There's no sometimes or exceptions. No, the only way the President's position makes sense, or the position of many so-called pro-lifers, is if abortions are candy-colored treats to be doled out only to deserving women.
I know women who had abortions because the fertilized egg was lodged in the fallopian tubes and if left to grow, would be certain death for it and the mother. No rape, no incest, sorry no abortion. However, may I show you some lovely caskets in which you can spend the afterlife.
Contrary to the straw woman built up by the anti-abortionists, most women who have had the procedure weren't hoping for a preganancy just so they could have an abortion.
"woo hoo, the stick is blue, now I get to have another abortion! To Planned Parenthood and step on it!)"
They are like my cousin who got preganant at 14, by her first boyfriend who threatened to dump her for her best friend if she wouldn't sleep with him. No rape, no incest, sorry. Chin up though, you and your kid can have one of those "my mom is my best friend relationships."
No, after weighing her options, she had an abortion.
A baby should be a welcome, wonderful experience --- not some punishment devised to scare girls into abstinence. (That's what STDs are for, Duh.)
Look, I am all for adoption and teenage moms (if that's what they and their families want), but I don't see how anyone can believe that women should be forced to undertake either of those huge responsibilities. I certainly don't believe every woman pregnant by rape or incest or with a life threatening pregancy should be forced to have an abortion. That too is a great responsibility.
I don't know if a fetus feels pain or at which point fertilized cells even become fetuses. (Does the President also oppose the morning after pill? Jury's still out.) (FYI, the Catholic Church believes that life starts in the sperm. Think about that before casually flipping through the Victoria Secret catalog in your mom's bathroom...) But I do know that there are lines being drawn here that seek to limit the amount and quality of health care available to women, and that is point blank unconstitional and morally wrong. The only unquestioned life in-being, that feels pain and loss and suffers, is the women in question and she should be allowed to live her life. An abortion is often necessary for the physical, if not mental, well-being of the preganant woman. She should not have to make some worthiness showing in order to get it. (Should only married men receive Viagra or Cialis?)
Women's health care and now, criminal law are the only realms in which reasonable people endow fertilized cells with these kinds of rights (Actually, given the Bush administration's stance on stem-cell research, the effects will be felt in all medical and scientific fields.) Airlines don't charge preganant women for a fetus ticket. You can't get a fetus-credit on your tax returns. Fetuses don't have social security numbers. Even the Catholic Church will not baptize a woman's belly. There is something about that first gulp of air, that first blood-curdling wail that tells us a new life has begun.
You want to protect the weakest members of society? Protect babies? Great, excellent. Let's start with allowing women to have longer paid maternity leaves. Give states and cities more money for social workers to keep better track of foster children. Fully fund Head Start.
You want to prevent people from killing their babies, let's work to remove the stigma from psychiatry and encourage anyone who needs it to get free mental health care, so that moms suffering from PPD don't drown little ones in tubs and fathers struggling to cope with the burdens of child rearing don't shake little Timmy to death.
Tired of babies dying?
How about paying for dedicated researchers to cure SID, juvenile diabetes, cancer, muscular dystrophy?
Too much? Too hard? Yeah, it's much easier painting bloody fetuses on placards and screaming about the rights of the unborn.
Well, that's life.
Today 100,000 marched in Washington in support of abortion rights.
Last week, Dick Cheney outlined the President's position on the issue: "Bush supports abortion only in cases of rape or incest when a woman's life is endangered." He said it was about protecting the weakest members of our society.
But the rationale and the ultimate position seem incompatible.
"Hello there little fetus deserving to be born, we are going to murder you because your father is also your grandfather."
"Yeah, I know you're an innocent little fetus, but we've got to execute you because your father raped your mother in an alley."
It's curious. Either abortion is murder of an innocent little fetus deserving of every protection or it ain't. There's no sometimes or exceptions. No, the only way the President's position makes sense, or the position of many so-called pro-lifers, is if abortions are candy-colored treats to be doled out only to deserving women.
I know women who had abortions because the fertilized egg was lodged in the fallopian tubes and if left to grow, would be certain death for it and the mother. No rape, no incest, sorry no abortion. However, may I show you some lovely caskets in which you can spend the afterlife.
Contrary to the straw woman built up by the anti-abortionists, most women who have had the procedure weren't hoping for a preganancy just so they could have an abortion.
"woo hoo, the stick is blue, now I get to have another abortion! To Planned Parenthood and step on it!)"
They are like my cousin who got preganant at 14, by her first boyfriend who threatened to dump her for her best friend if she wouldn't sleep with him. No rape, no incest, sorry. Chin up though, you and your kid can have one of those "my mom is my best friend relationships."
No, after weighing her options, she had an abortion.
A baby should be a welcome, wonderful experience --- not some punishment devised to scare girls into abstinence. (That's what STDs are for, Duh.)
Look, I am all for adoption and teenage moms (if that's what they and their families want), but I don't see how anyone can believe that women should be forced to undertake either of those huge responsibilities. I certainly don't believe every woman pregnant by rape or incest or with a life threatening pregancy should be forced to have an abortion. That too is a great responsibility.
I don't know if a fetus feels pain or at which point fertilized cells even become fetuses. (Does the President also oppose the morning after pill? Jury's still out.) (FYI, the Catholic Church believes that life starts in the sperm. Think about that before casually flipping through the Victoria Secret catalog in your mom's bathroom...) But I do know that there are lines being drawn here that seek to limit the amount and quality of health care available to women, and that is point blank unconstitional and morally wrong. The only unquestioned life in-being, that feels pain and loss and suffers, is the women in question and she should be allowed to live her life. An abortion is often necessary for the physical, if not mental, well-being of the preganant woman. She should not have to make some worthiness showing in order to get it. (Should only married men receive Viagra or Cialis?)
Women's health care and now, criminal law are the only realms in which reasonable people endow fertilized cells with these kinds of rights (Actually, given the Bush administration's stance on stem-cell research, the effects will be felt in all medical and scientific fields.) Airlines don't charge preganant women for a fetus ticket. You can't get a fetus-credit on your tax returns. Fetuses don't have social security numbers. Even the Catholic Church will not baptize a woman's belly. There is something about that first gulp of air, that first blood-curdling wail that tells us a new life has begun.
You want to protect the weakest members of society? Protect babies? Great, excellent. Let's start with allowing women to have longer paid maternity leaves. Give states and cities more money for social workers to keep better track of foster children. Fully fund Head Start.
You want to prevent people from killing their babies, let's work to remove the stigma from psychiatry and encourage anyone who needs it to get free mental health care, so that moms suffering from PPD don't drown little ones in tubs and fathers struggling to cope with the burdens of child rearing don't shake little Timmy to death.
Tired of babies dying?
How about paying for dedicated researchers to cure SID, juvenile diabetes, cancer, muscular dystrophy?
Too much? Too hard? Yeah, it's much easier painting bloody fetuses on placards and screaming about the rights of the unborn.
Well, that's life.
Friday, April 23, 2004
DECIDEDLY HALF FULL
"About 50 percent of the security forces that we've built over the past year stood tall and stood firm," Maj. Gen. Martin Dempsey, commander of the 1st Armored Division, said. "About 40 percent walked off the job because they were intimidated. And about 10 percent actually worked against us."
More here.
"About 50 percent of the security forces that we've built over the past year stood tall and stood firm," Maj. Gen. Martin Dempsey, commander of the 1st Armored Division, said. "About 40 percent walked off the job because they were intimidated. And about 10 percent actually worked against us."
More here.
Overhead
Girl: I ain't going back there.
Boy: But, sweetie it was just your first day.
Girl: First and Last.
Boy: How are you going to get paid, if you don't go back?
Girl: F*ck that. She can take that check and shove it up her cervix.
Girl: I ain't going back there.
Boy: But, sweetie it was just your first day.
Girl: First and Last.
Boy: How are you going to get paid, if you don't go back?
Girl: F*ck that. She can take that check and shove it up her cervix.
Cookie Monster
A sixth-grader has been indefinitely suspended because a classmate reported that he threatened to expose an allergic teacher to lots of peanut butter cookies.
Last Winter one of my company's secretaries had to take a week off because her daughter had been suspended from school for slapping a boy.
Evidently, the boy had been making lewd remarks about certain of her body parts for months. She reported him and he was told to stop. But he didn't, and finally, she slapped him.
The school said that because he merely used words, but she used "violence," the girl faced a mandatory suspension. They would consider the surrounding circumstances and determine the length.
But this nabbing of the 11-year-old peanut butter cookie bandit, takes the cake.
A sixth-grader has been indefinitely suspended because a classmate reported that he threatened to expose an allergic teacher to lots of peanut butter cookies.
Last Winter one of my company's secretaries had to take a week off because her daughter had been suspended from school for slapping a boy.
Evidently, the boy had been making lewd remarks about certain of her body parts for months. She reported him and he was told to stop. But he didn't, and finally, she slapped him.
The school said that because he merely used words, but she used "violence," the girl faced a mandatory suspension. They would consider the surrounding circumstances and determine the length.
But this nabbing of the 11-year-old peanut butter cookie bandit, takes the cake.
Creepy
Army Sergeant James Pitts confesses to wife's murder:
"This has devastated me," Pitts' father, also named James, told KIRO-TV of Seattle. "My son called and said, 'I just killed my wife.' ... He's not my son anymore. I feel my son is still in Iraq. You can thank George W. Bush for this."
Army Sergeant James Pitts confesses to wife's murder:
"This has devastated me," Pitts' father, also named James, told KIRO-TV of Seattle. "My son called and said, 'I just killed my wife.' ... He's not my son anymore. I feel my son is still in Iraq. You can thank George W. Bush for this."
Thursday, April 22, 2004
ANGEL
Huh? What now? Which father was he talking about? Angel? Holtz? Bland dad? Episodes ago Cordelia apologized to Wes for killing Lila and he accepted, so he must have remembered that he was in love with Lila. How did he think that happened?
My head hurts.
On an unrelated note: Spike and Angel need to hook-up and be done with it.
Line of the night: "C'mon Sparky, this heart's not going to remove itself." hahahahahahahahahaha
Huh? What now? Which father was he talking about? Angel? Holtz? Bland dad? Episodes ago Cordelia apologized to Wes for killing Lila and he accepted, so he must have remembered that he was in love with Lila. How did he think that happened?
My head hurts.
On an unrelated note: Spike and Angel need to hook-up and be done with it.
Line of the night: "C'mon Sparky, this heart's not going to remove itself." hahahahahahahahahaha
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Kerry is so very...not so bad
I finally watched the Meet the Press with John Kerry (aired Sunday.) I was impressed. (Although, lay off the Botox...that many injections can't be healthy. And it's a little distracting, I spent much of the first twenty minutes trying to remember where the wrinkles were and then I had to rewind.)
I have some suggestions though:
1) Criticizing Bush's handling of the Iraq war is good; Praising his father's handling of Desert Storm is bad. (Dude, you voted against it, remember?)
2) Distancing yourself from some of the crazy stuff you may have said in your late twenties is good, shifting the focus to what George W. Bush was doing in his late twenties (drunk driving pick-up trucks in podunk Texas, as I recall) is better.
3) Instead of "intrusive" use "transparent" and don't forget to throw in how secretive the current White House is.
4) Unless she has something to hide that will get her thrown in jail, release your wife's tax returns. If you don't, every reporter/moderator from now until election day will be asking you a question that involves the phrase "when Geraldine Ferraro was chosen as Mondale's running-mate in 1984." No good.
5) Stop entertaining this "purple heart" inquiry. Just "Richard Clarke" (a.k.a. "The Paul O'Neill") the General making the ridiculous claims. (i.e. find out what he said when you got the purple heart, release that portion of your record and then ask "which General are you asking about? The one in 1968? or the one in 2004 with a partisan axe to grind?") Works for Bush, everytime.
6) The next time someone mentions Skull and Bones. Stand up and spit on the floor. Then, look them in the eye and say "that's what I think of Skull and Bones." OK, maybe I've got a wee bit of a personal bias -- but it wouldn't hurt.
7) The next time someone mentions Ralph Nader? See #6.
8) Do slam Hamas as a "murderous terrorist organization." Don't say "I agree with the President." Seriously, it makes me queasy and brings back baaaaad memories of "I agree with Governor Bush." It'll cost you ten votes everytime you say it, 2 for Nader and 8 will stay home because "there's no difference between them." I don't care if you do agree with Bush, you state your position affirmatively and if they follow-up with "How's that different from Bush? You say "because he says it, I mean it" or something to that effect.
9) Enough with the "I've met with" stuff. We get it, people out there like you, they really like you. Just say what you're going to say and try to convince the rest of people you haven't met with to vote for you.
10) Smile more. (Oh, wait... does that hurt because of the Botox? Then, nevermind)
I finally watched the Meet the Press with John Kerry (aired Sunday.) I was impressed. (Although, lay off the Botox...that many injections can't be healthy. And it's a little distracting, I spent much of the first twenty minutes trying to remember where the wrinkles were and then I had to rewind.)
I have some suggestions though:
1) Criticizing Bush's handling of the Iraq war is good; Praising his father's handling of Desert Storm is bad. (Dude, you voted against it, remember?)
2) Distancing yourself from some of the crazy stuff you may have said in your late twenties is good, shifting the focus to what George W. Bush was doing in his late twenties (drunk driving pick-up trucks in podunk Texas, as I recall) is better.
3) Instead of "intrusive" use "transparent" and don't forget to throw in how secretive the current White House is.
4) Unless she has something to hide that will get her thrown in jail, release your wife's tax returns. If you don't, every reporter/moderator from now until election day will be asking you a question that involves the phrase "when Geraldine Ferraro was chosen as Mondale's running-mate in 1984." No good.
5) Stop entertaining this "purple heart" inquiry. Just "Richard Clarke" (a.k.a. "The Paul O'Neill") the General making the ridiculous claims. (i.e. find out what he said when you got the purple heart, release that portion of your record and then ask "which General are you asking about? The one in 1968? or the one in 2004 with a partisan axe to grind?") Works for Bush, everytime.
6) The next time someone mentions Skull and Bones. Stand up and spit on the floor. Then, look them in the eye and say "that's what I think of Skull and Bones." OK, maybe I've got a wee bit of a personal bias -- but it wouldn't hurt.
7) The next time someone mentions Ralph Nader? See #6.
8) Do slam Hamas as a "murderous terrorist organization." Don't say "I agree with the President." Seriously, it makes me queasy and brings back baaaaad memories of "I agree with Governor Bush." It'll cost you ten votes everytime you say it, 2 for Nader and 8 will stay home because "there's no difference between them." I don't care if you do agree with Bush, you state your position affirmatively and if they follow-up with "How's that different from Bush? You say "because he says it, I mean it" or something to that effect.
9) Enough with the "I've met with" stuff. We get it, people out there like you, they really like you. Just say what you're going to say and try to convince the rest of people you haven't met with to vote for you.
10) Smile more. (Oh, wait... does that hurt because of the Botox? Then, nevermind)
Pesky Job
Yup, the real world has interfered with my blogging, but until blogging somehow buys me an apartment in NYC -- gotta keep my day job.
Speaking of which, yesterday, I won my first motion at New LLP and today I did my second disposition! Woo hoo!
Yup, the real world has interfered with my blogging, but until blogging somehow buys me an apartment in NYC -- gotta keep my day job.
Speaking of which, yesterday, I won my first motion at New LLP and today I did my second disposition! Woo hoo!
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Anytime, Anywhere
On second thought, Karol, watch out for that ceiling. You never know what's gonna kill you.
On second thought, Karol, watch out for that ceiling. You never know what's gonna kill you.
Oh, that liberal media
Riiiiight. After sitting on Bush's "missing year" for more than three years, now the press wants Kerry's files immediately?
Riiiiight. After sitting on Bush's "missing year" for more than three years, now the press wants Kerry's files immediately?
Your point is?
From a CNN article about the four major networks declining to air Mel Gibson's movie in this "post-Janet Jackson" world:
Besides the film's violent content, a television network that airs "The Passion" would also inherit controversy about it. Some Jewish organizations objected to the movie for fear it would cause bad blood between Christians and Jews.
NBC aired the Holocaust tale, "Schindler's List," uncut and without commercial interruption in February 1997, a broadcast sponsored by Ford. NBC estimated 65 million people saw all or part of the film.
UPDATE
CBS *WILL* HOWEVER, AIR FOOTAGE OF PRINCESS DI'S DEATH
From a CNN article about the four major networks declining to air Mel Gibson's movie in this "post-Janet Jackson" world:
Besides the film's violent content, a television network that airs "The Passion" would also inherit controversy about it. Some Jewish organizations objected to the movie for fear it would cause bad blood between Christians and Jews.
NBC aired the Holocaust tale, "Schindler's List," uncut and without commercial interruption in February 1997, a broadcast sponsored by Ford. NBC estimated 65 million people saw all or part of the film.
UPDATE
CBS *WILL* HOWEVER, AIR FOOTAGE OF PRINCESS DI'S DEATH
Television Update
So, it's official. "Miss Match" has been cancelled.
I saw Lake Bell, a former regular on Miss Match (Victoria, the best friend bartender) on Sunday's "The Practice" and it looks like she's going to be a regular on the new Practice.
Speaking of which, I have seen lots of things on television... I mean dissections, earthquakes, car crashes, The Hamburglar ice surfing, but never before have I seen a show moving on and getting over itself, all at the same time.
I mean, Friends is moving on, yet somehow the characters still seem to be involved in the friendships and have storylines. Fraiser was a spin-off, and so was all about getting over Cheers, but it wasn't like Norm and Sammy were sitting on barstools right next to him while he did it.
But David Kelly, after firing most of his cast, is now cancelling the show and spinning it off all at the same time.
The result?
A fascinating dichotomy in which, scenes filmed at "The Practice" just serve to drag on the plotline of the show "The Practice."
Luckily, I have Tivo and can fast forward whenever I see Steven Spielberg's stupid stepdaughter on screen.
I am actually looking forward to this new Practice... hmmm... it's going to need a name.
"Working for the Man Every Night and Day"? Naah, that's more of a theme song...
"The Corporate Practice"?
"Sharks"? oh, the opportunities are endless.
I wanna see Helen Gamble face-off with the Rebecca de Morney character. And Eugene as a judge on a case Alan Shore is trying... oh, baby...
But, don't get too attached. Gina Gershon seems to be in the cast and her television shows never make it to season's end.
So, it's official. "Miss Match" has been cancelled.
I saw Lake Bell, a former regular on Miss Match (Victoria, the best friend bartender) on Sunday's "The Practice" and it looks like she's going to be a regular on the new Practice.
Speaking of which, I have seen lots of things on television... I mean dissections, earthquakes, car crashes, The Hamburglar ice surfing, but never before have I seen a show moving on and getting over itself, all at the same time.
I mean, Friends is moving on, yet somehow the characters still seem to be involved in the friendships and have storylines. Fraiser was a spin-off, and so was all about getting over Cheers, but it wasn't like Norm and Sammy were sitting on barstools right next to him while he did it.
But David Kelly, after firing most of his cast, is now cancelling the show and spinning it off all at the same time.
The result?
A fascinating dichotomy in which, scenes filmed at "The Practice" just serve to drag on the plotline of the show "The Practice."
Luckily, I have Tivo and can fast forward whenever I see Steven Spielberg's stupid stepdaughter on screen.
I am actually looking forward to this new Practice... hmmm... it's going to need a name.
"Working for the Man Every Night and Day"? Naah, that's more of a theme song...
"The Corporate Practice"?
"Sharks"? oh, the opportunities are endless.
I wanna see Helen Gamble face-off with the Rebecca de Morney character. And Eugene as a judge on a case Alan Shore is trying... oh, baby...
But, don't get too attached. Gina Gershon seems to be in the cast and her television shows never make it to season's end.
Rethinking Uncle Tom
You know how they say, "well, I may have said some things in anger"?
Well, these are some of those things.
Uncle Tom was a slave.
He was sold as a slave to pay off gambling debts. He was bought as a slave by an abusive psychotic. He couldn't read, write, have opinions.
Uncle Tom was not a man.
But Uncle Tom was a survivor. Without Uncle Tom there is no black American. There is no me. Harry Belafonte famously attempted to insult the Secretary of State by calling him an "Uncle Tom." But without Uncle Tom, there is no Harry Belafonte. While we may not be biological descendants of the American slave, we are most definitely Uncle Tom's historical heirs.
Why?
Simply put, only two kinds of slaves survived the centuries of degradation, abuse and dehumanization: those who ran and those who submit.
Fighters were killed. Conspirators were killed. Leaders, uprisers, rebels? Dead, dead and oh yeah, dead.
You either ran or you obeyed. That is how you lived.
The ignorance and hubris of modern-day observers who decide that Uncle Tom is to be ridiculed and used to embarrass African-American leaders is appalling.
I saw a post the other day, lampooning Powell and Dr. Rice as Bush's "Uncle Tom" slaves.
While most of the commenters seemed to take issue with the comparison, none challenged the premise that "Uncle Tom" was a villainous figure -- the dark skinned Benedict Arnold.
He was no such thing.
In the midst of the most unimaginable horrors of slavery, in a country that legally considered him a fraction of a man and taught him to think of himself as property, he survived.
He lived with an honor and a dignity that is unseen in this day and age when stereotypes and catchy slogans substitute for national discourse and political dissent.
Disagree with Colin Powell's position on the war? Fine. (Although, it should be noted that Colin Powell wanted Iraq to be a U.N. action. He worked for months building an international coalition and when he shored up the votes he took the resolution to the U.N. Then he found himself with a croissant in his back and BMW tire tracks across his body when France and Germany backed-out of their deal and publicly humiliated him.)
But American slavery is over. Colin Powell is paid handsomely for his work. He has the opportunity, skills and ambition to do whatever he wants after his work in the White House is over. Uncle Tom had no such opportunities.
Not to take anything away from the slaves who ran (in fact, after a friend, to no avail, tried to point out the North Star to me in a clear Vermont sky this past winter, I realized there was no way I would have made it through the Underground Railroad) but if all the slaves ran, the masters would surely have figured out a way to shut the railroad down.
No, some had to stay and survive.
That is who Uncle Tom is.
I know I couldn't have lived a day in his chains and I doubt those who use his name for mockery could do it either.
Although, a day in his chains might do their egos some good.
You know how they say, "well, I may have said some things in anger"?
Well, these are some of those things.
Uncle Tom was a slave.
He was sold as a slave to pay off gambling debts. He was bought as a slave by an abusive psychotic. He couldn't read, write, have opinions.
Uncle Tom was not a man.
But Uncle Tom was a survivor. Without Uncle Tom there is no black American. There is no me. Harry Belafonte famously attempted to insult the Secretary of State by calling him an "Uncle Tom." But without Uncle Tom, there is no Harry Belafonte. While we may not be biological descendants of the American slave, we are most definitely Uncle Tom's historical heirs.
Why?
Simply put, only two kinds of slaves survived the centuries of degradation, abuse and dehumanization: those who ran and those who submit.
Fighters were killed. Conspirators were killed. Leaders, uprisers, rebels? Dead, dead and oh yeah, dead.
You either ran or you obeyed. That is how you lived.
The ignorance and hubris of modern-day observers who decide that Uncle Tom is to be ridiculed and used to embarrass African-American leaders is appalling.
I saw a post the other day, lampooning Powell and Dr. Rice as Bush's "Uncle Tom" slaves.
While most of the commenters seemed to take issue with the comparison, none challenged the premise that "Uncle Tom" was a villainous figure -- the dark skinned Benedict Arnold.
He was no such thing.
In the midst of the most unimaginable horrors of slavery, in a country that legally considered him a fraction of a man and taught him to think of himself as property, he survived.
He lived with an honor and a dignity that is unseen in this day and age when stereotypes and catchy slogans substitute for national discourse and political dissent.
Disagree with Colin Powell's position on the war? Fine. (Although, it should be noted that Colin Powell wanted Iraq to be a U.N. action. He worked for months building an international coalition and when he shored up the votes he took the resolution to the U.N. Then he found himself with a croissant in his back and BMW tire tracks across his body when France and Germany backed-out of their deal and publicly humiliated him.)
But American slavery is over. Colin Powell is paid handsomely for his work. He has the opportunity, skills and ambition to do whatever he wants after his work in the White House is over. Uncle Tom had no such opportunities.
Not to take anything away from the slaves who ran (in fact, after a friend, to no avail, tried to point out the North Star to me in a clear Vermont sky this past winter, I realized there was no way I would have made it through the Underground Railroad) but if all the slaves ran, the masters would surely have figured out a way to shut the railroad down.
No, some had to stay and survive.
That is who Uncle Tom is.
I know I couldn't have lived a day in his chains and I doubt those who use his name for mockery could do it either.
Although, a day in his chains might do their egos some good.
Monday, April 19, 2004
LUKE, I AM YOUR...UNCLE?
Dear Mr. Alias writer: Really? Three years and that's where you've been going with this?
Dear Mr. Alias writer: Really? Three years and that's where you've been going with this?
BLOG-A-POLOOZA
OK, I can't believe I am the last of the blogosphere to post about the evening otherwise known as Karol's birthday celebration. I think first place goes to Ken, next up Yaron and then, the almost-30-year-old herself.
My big news of the night:
Peter introduced me to my cyber-nemesis Radical Redneck. Happily, after all the months of offensive, vile, grostesque commenting all over the blogosphere, there was no bloodshed.
But bigger news of the night: I also met Ken, Yaron , Ari, Fish, Ivan and Owen, most of whom I have shamelessly stolen ideas from, in putting Clarefied together.
Lisa totally made my night when she said she reads my blog everyday! Oddly enough, it turns out she has a new blog too that I started reading last week (Check out this post) and will be added to the mutual admiration society known as the blogroll!
The thing that struck me most about about the bloggers that I met was how adorable, if not downright hot, they all were. The pop culture image of the "Comic Store Guy" from the Simpsons as your computer, chat room blogger is way off-base!
(Although one girl's attempt to bring back bangs is a tad questionable.)
That night I also discovered one pitfall of smoke-free bars and restaurants: Loud, smoke-filled streets outside of bars and restaurants. At one point, the bar's bouncer told us to go back inside if we wanted to make noise. Minutes later he said, if you're not smoking, go inside. Karol grabbed a stick and lit up promptly.
"You don't smoke...cigarettes," I accused.
"Well, I feel like I have to."
Like I always say, Karol's birthday: come for the links, stay for anecdotes to blog about. See y'all next year...
(I think this post has more links per capita than any other post in blogging history.)
OK, I can't believe I am the last of the blogosphere to post about the evening otherwise known as Karol's birthday celebration. I think first place goes to Ken, next up Yaron and then, the almost-30-year-old herself.
My big news of the night:
Peter introduced me to my cyber-nemesis Radical Redneck. Happily, after all the months of offensive, vile, grostesque commenting all over the blogosphere, there was no bloodshed.
But bigger news of the night: I also met Ken, Yaron , Ari, Fish, Ivan and Owen, most of whom I have shamelessly stolen ideas from, in putting Clarefied together.
Lisa totally made my night when she said she reads my blog everyday! Oddly enough, it turns out she has a new blog too that I started reading last week (Check out this post) and will be added to the mutual admiration society known as the blogroll!
The thing that struck me most about about the bloggers that I met was how adorable, if not downright hot, they all were. The pop culture image of the "Comic Store Guy" from the Simpsons as your computer, chat room blogger is way off-base!
(Although one girl's attempt to bring back bangs is a tad questionable.)
That night I also discovered one pitfall of smoke-free bars and restaurants: Loud, smoke-filled streets outside of bars and restaurants. At one point, the bar's bouncer told us to go back inside if we wanted to make noise. Minutes later he said, if you're not smoking, go inside. Karol grabbed a stick and lit up promptly.
"You don't smoke...cigarettes," I accused.
"Well, I feel like I have to."
Like I always say, Karol's birthday: come for the links, stay for anecdotes to blog about. See y'all next year...
(I think this post has more links per capita than any other post in blogging history.)
ISN'T IT IRONIC: Part Deux
Jim Cantalupo, chairman and CEO of McDonald's Corp., who has worked in the past year to restore the luster of an ailing brand and bring in new, healthier menu options, died early Monday of a sudden and unexpected heartache.
I guess they've gotta tweak the menu a bit.
Jim Cantalupo, chairman and CEO of McDonald's Corp., who has worked in the past year to restore the luster of an ailing brand and bring in new, healthier menu options, died early Monday of a sudden and unexpected heartache.
I guess they've gotta tweak the menu a bit.
Sunday, April 18, 2004
HOLD YOUR BREATH
I'm sure that the conservatives so quick to deplore the suggestion that Secretary Rumsfeld should be shot, will step up to denounce their cohorts who are now threatening Jamie Gorelick's life.
Wait for it...
I'm sure that the conservatives so quick to deplore the suggestion that Secretary Rumsfeld should be shot, will step up to denounce their cohorts who are now threatening Jamie Gorelick's life.
Wait for it...
Friday, April 16, 2004
OSAMOROSA* INDEED
Woah, Nelly. F-Train remarked that Omarosa television taped lie may cost her a professional future. Well, turns out her professional past may cost her a professional future.
* Any similarity to an international terrorist's name and a reality television star is completely accidental.
Woah, Nelly. F-Train remarked that Omarosa television taped lie may cost her a professional future. Well, turns out her professional past may cost her a professional future.
* Any similarity to an international terrorist's name and a reality television star is completely accidental.
"Kind of a wake-up call for everybody"
After porno star tests positive for HIV virus, producers shut down the sets.
It's 2004. Who knew porn stars slept so soundly.
Dear Red Cross,
I got another screening category for you.
Dawn
After porno star tests positive for HIV virus, producers shut down the sets.
It's 2004. Who knew porn stars slept so soundly.
Dear Red Cross,
I got another screening category for you.
Dawn
Now, if only I had bet on it!
As predicted, Bill won. Ginger has a great post about why.
Kwame, however, lost.
He has no sense of human nature. Sure, picking Assaroma second was the best he could do given that Bill had first pick -- but once she bleeped up the first task -- twice. He should have given her the task of sweeping up the lobby floor, cleaning gum off of Jessica's shoes, you get the idea.
Omarosa said it best "I was called to the boardroom three times. Twice, it was Kwame who brought me there."
She had no reason to help him succeed. He should have known that -- as Bill did. Think his micromanaging was a fluke? Bill's mama ain't raise no dummy. That's just not something that they can teach ya at Harvard Business School.... now, the law school, that's a different story. Those sharks pants the B-schoolers on a daily basis. Even the dual JD/MBA candidates pants themselves just to stay sharp!
As predicted, Bill won. Ginger has a great post about why.
Kwame, however, lost.
He has no sense of human nature. Sure, picking Assaroma second was the best he could do given that Bill had first pick -- but once she bleeped up the first task -- twice. He should have given her the task of sweeping up the lobby floor, cleaning gum off of Jessica's shoes, you get the idea.
Omarosa said it best "I was called to the boardroom three times. Twice, it was Kwame who brought me there."
She had no reason to help him succeed. He should have known that -- as Bill did. Think his micromanaging was a fluke? Bill's mama ain't raise no dummy. That's just not something that they can teach ya at Harvard Business School.... now, the law school, that's a different story. Those sharks pants the B-schoolers on a daily basis. Even the dual JD/MBA candidates pants themselves just to stay sharp!
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Spain to Legalize Gay Marriage
If a gay couple gets married in Spain and moves to NY, will the state recognize their union?
Crazy.
via Intl News
If a gay couple gets married in Spain and moves to NY, will the state recognize their union?
Crazy.
via Intl News
Gag...'You're Hired'
The Donald is building up the idea that he's going to pick Kwame so much, I'm beginning to think it'll definitely be Bill.
Do you think he gets health insurance with that?
The Donald is building up the idea that he's going to pick Kwame so much, I'm beginning to think it'll definitely be Bill.
Do you think he gets health insurance with that?
Random
I went to the Ruben Studdard concert in NYC last night. He now has his own record label (to which he signed his back-up singer) and a children's foundation. He advised young people to register to vote and support the arts in public schools. Also, there was some singing and attempted dancing involved.
On an unrelated note, after the show I saw, Martha juror, Chappell Hartridge in the lobby of the theater!
I thought about asking him if he lied on his juror questionnaire, but since he is alleged to have beaten a woman, I decided to silently follow him instead. First, he went to the men's room and then he loitered outside the concert hall for a bit before going into the liquor store next door and buying a quart of Jamaican rum. I lost him after he left the store and turned off Broadway. (A long red coat and bright red hat are probably not the best attire for undercover work...)
I went to the Ruben Studdard concert in NYC last night. He now has his own record label (to which he signed his back-up singer) and a children's foundation. He advised young people to register to vote and support the arts in public schools. Also, there was some singing and attempted dancing involved.
On an unrelated note, after the show I saw, Martha juror, Chappell Hartridge in the lobby of the theater!
I thought about asking him if he lied on his juror questionnaire, but since he is alleged to have beaten a woman, I decided to silently follow him instead. First, he went to the men's room and then he loitered outside the concert hall for a bit before going into the liquor store next door and buying a quart of Jamaican rum. I lost him after he left the store and turned off Broadway. (A long red coat and bright red hat are probably not the best attire for undercover work...)
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
SORORITY OUT FOR BLOOD
Literally.
Sorority sisters told to lie on form if they have any conditions which would preclude them from giving blood, like piercings, tatoos, colds.
People go nuts for the sororities/fraternities sometimes, my freshman year roommate couldn't shower for all of pledge week and if she answered the phone, it had to be with a series of barking sounds. Go figure.
But the story also brings up the issue of the standards the Red Cross is setting for blood donation. Including the conditions mentioned above, people who have ever sex with anyone who was born or lived in certain African countries or lived in England in the 90s are eliminated from the blood pool.
Aren't they testing and screening all donated blood anyway? Can we afford to be this picky?
Literally.
Sorority sisters told to lie on form if they have any conditions which would preclude them from giving blood, like piercings, tatoos, colds.
People go nuts for the sororities/fraternities sometimes, my freshman year roommate couldn't shower for all of pledge week and if she answered the phone, it had to be with a series of barking sounds. Go figure.
But the story also brings up the issue of the standards the Red Cross is setting for blood donation. Including the conditions mentioned above, people who have ever sex with anyone who was born or lived in certain African countries or lived in England in the 90s are eliminated from the blood pool.
Aren't they testing and screening all donated blood anyway? Can we afford to be this picky?
Counterblogging
I didn't get home in time to watch Bush's press conference, but I watched clips last night when I got home. My thoughts?
Lileks says: We have a stark choice: Bush’s blunt and frequently inarticulate remarks, versus Kerry’s prolix, labrynthic diplobabble.
Umm, if you're saying the choice is between regular babble "Look, nobody likes to see dead people on their television screens." (Yeah, with nine of the top 20 shows on television about homicide crimes, including two Law and Orders and two CSIs, that's the issue.) and diplobabble -- give me diplobabble any day.
No, my last night was spent watching Rory and Paris 'Go Wild' on Gilmore's Spring Break. Watercooler moment:
Paris and Rory burst into their dorm lobby, drenched from head to toe from a sudden New Haven downpour, a passer-by on her way out asks:
"Hey, is it raining?"
Reply?
"No. It's National Baptism Day. Get your tubes tied, idiot."
hahahahahahahaha
But a close second:
Rory: I get the radiator ... you got it last time.
Paris: Did not.
Rory: Yes, you did. You hogged the whole thing with your books and your 'Al Gore please don't endorse me' sweatshirt.
hahahahahahahahahaaha
All in all, a fun time was had by all. If you liked attending Yale as an undergrad, the show is a must watch. I think it's good generally, but I definitely love the trips down memory lane -- certainly if you worked on the Yale Daily News in 1994-1996ish, the "Editor-In-Chief" character played by Buffy's 'Jonathan' will definitely bring back memories.
hahahahahahahahahaha
I didn't get home in time to watch Bush's press conference, but I watched clips last night when I got home. My thoughts?
Lileks says: We have a stark choice: Bush’s blunt and frequently inarticulate remarks, versus Kerry’s prolix, labrynthic diplobabble.
Umm, if you're saying the choice is between regular babble "Look, nobody likes to see dead people on their television screens." (Yeah, with nine of the top 20 shows on television about homicide crimes, including two Law and Orders and two CSIs, that's the issue.) and diplobabble -- give me diplobabble any day.
No, my last night was spent watching Rory and Paris 'Go Wild' on Gilmore's Spring Break. Watercooler moment:
Paris and Rory burst into their dorm lobby, drenched from head to toe from a sudden New Haven downpour, a passer-by on her way out asks:
"Hey, is it raining?"
Reply?
"No. It's National Baptism Day. Get your tubes tied, idiot."
hahahahahahahaha
But a close second:
Rory: I get the radiator ... you got it last time.
Paris: Did not.
Rory: Yes, you did. You hogged the whole thing with your books and your 'Al Gore please don't endorse me' sweatshirt.
hahahahahahahahahaaha
All in all, a fun time was had by all. If you liked attending Yale as an undergrad, the show is a must watch. I think it's good generally, but I definitely love the trips down memory lane -- certainly if you worked on the Yale Daily News in 1994-1996ish, the "Editor-In-Chief" character played by Buffy's 'Jonathan' will definitely bring back memories.
hahahahahahahahahaha
NYT NOT GOOD FOR HEADLINES
The New York Post is good for something. It's a flair missing in the city's paper of record. In a story this morning about the Simpsons' cast salary standoff with Fox, the NYT print edition headline was "D'oh Am I underpaid?"
Dudes, loosen up! How about:
'Apu'tcha money where our mouths are
"Fox Burns cast on salary negotiations"
"Don't Selma me short, Patti me on the back"
"Cast wants more Scratchy, Fox is Itchy"
"Cast wants a Cash-Cowabunga"
"Fox: We Don't have a cash-cow Man"
'Spring'field wants a jump in salary
The New York Post is good for something. It's a flair missing in the city's paper of record. In a story this morning about the Simpsons' cast salary standoff with Fox, the NYT print edition headline was "D'oh Am I underpaid?"
Dudes, loosen up! How about:
'Apu'tcha money where our mouths are
"Fox Burns cast on salary negotiations"
"Don't Selma me short, Patti me on the back"
"Cast wants more Scratchy, Fox is Itchy"
"Cast wants a Cash-Cowabunga"
"Fox: We Don't have a cash-cow Man"
'Spring'field wants a jump in salary
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Justice Scalia plugs blog in apology letter!
Well...sort of.
"The marshals were doing what they believed to be their job, and the fault was mine for not assuring that the ground rules had been clarified."
Well...sort of.
"The marshals were doing what they believed to be their job, and the fault was mine for not assuring that the ground rules had been clarified."
LIFE EXPERIENCE #41
A live conference call is no time to start figuring out what all the buttons on your phone are for.
Related corollary: Don't assume the only unlabelled button must be the 'mute' button. Not so.
A live conference call is no time to start figuring out what all the buttons on your phone are for.
Related corollary: Don't assume the only unlabelled button must be the 'mute' button. Not so.
Television Follow-up Questions
1. Did Fox ever air the finale of the littlest groom? What was the outcome?
2. In Buffy Season 3, the episode 'The Wish' has the Master rising because Cordelia wishes that Buffy never came to Sunnydale, but in the Season 1 finale, the Master tells Buffy that if she didn't come, he couldn't go, so what's the dealio? How did he get out without the Buffster in 'The Wish'
Yes, this is what happens when one runs out of space on the Tivo machine and spends hours dubbing and deleting previously recorded programming.
1. Did Fox ever air the finale of the littlest groom? What was the outcome?
2. In Buffy Season 3, the episode 'The Wish' has the Master rising because Cordelia wishes that Buffy never came to Sunnydale, but in the Season 1 finale, the Master tells Buffy that if she didn't come, he couldn't go, so what's the dealio? How did he get out without the Buffster in 'The Wish'
Yes, this is what happens when one runs out of space on the Tivo machine and spends hours dubbing and deleting previously recorded programming.
DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH
Newly crowned Miss U.S.A. wants to use her bully pulpit to muster support for the Iraq war. How long before the conservative right, who so often complain about celebrities putting in their two cents in the political arena, tells the Missouri beauty to shut up and just look pretty?
Now?
How bout now?
Now?
How bout now?
Newly crowned Miss U.S.A. wants to use her bully pulpit to muster support for the Iraq war. How long before the conservative right, who so often complain about celebrities putting in their two cents in the political arena, tells the Missouri beauty to shut up and just look pretty?
Now?
How bout now?
Now?
How bout now?
Subway Happenings
Struggling to get through the rest of my book of short stories (seriously, note to self, don't ever buy another book of short stories), I glanced up and caught a middle-aged woman applying lip liner on the subway.
I've always wondered about these women who apply make-up while speeding through underground tunnels at 30 mph and swaying side-to-side. I went back to reading when I heard something clink to the floor. My eyes followed the sound and saw a small black cap lying about a foot away on the floor. I looked up at the woman again and saw that she was placing the cap on her liner. I started to look around for the cap's owner, when I noticed that on the other end of her lip liner was an exposed mascara brush with the black stuff all clumped on. The woman snapped the cap shut on the lip liner and proceeded to put all her makeup back in its bag, so that she could stand up and retrieve the errant cap from the floor.
I looked at the cap and noted that even though the train was chugging along across the Manhattan bridge, it lay perfectly still. (I know, there is some Physics principle involved here, but I didn't understand it in 11th grade and I don't understand it now.) Of course, the train was crowded and a guy in a business suit was standing inches in front of the cap, completely oblivious to the situation. A couple of minutes went by and the woman was still trying to clear off her lap. The businessman shifted his weight, inching closer to the cap. It was still where it had fallen and I wondered if I should get it for her. Finally, she started to get up, balancing her stocky frame by holding on to the pole in the middle of the car.
She's got it, I thought, as I re-opened my book. Moments after I found the the last line that I had read, an unnatural cracking sound reverberated through the car.
I look at the ground.
The businessman had crushed the cap beneath his wingtips. Small pieces of black plastic were now strewn around the largest piece of the cap, which was now considerably flatter and had lengthy cracks in it. I looked for the woman. Seeing, the extent of the damage, she let go of the pole and slumped back down in her seat.
She took out a tissue and wrapped the clumpy brush in it and put the whole stick back in her purse.
She had been so close.
Struggling to get through the rest of my book of short stories (seriously, note to self, don't ever buy another book of short stories), I glanced up and caught a middle-aged woman applying lip liner on the subway.
I've always wondered about these women who apply make-up while speeding through underground tunnels at 30 mph and swaying side-to-side. I went back to reading when I heard something clink to the floor. My eyes followed the sound and saw a small black cap lying about a foot away on the floor. I looked up at the woman again and saw that she was placing the cap on her liner. I started to look around for the cap's owner, when I noticed that on the other end of her lip liner was an exposed mascara brush with the black stuff all clumped on. The woman snapped the cap shut on the lip liner and proceeded to put all her makeup back in its bag, so that she could stand up and retrieve the errant cap from the floor.
I looked at the cap and noted that even though the train was chugging along across the Manhattan bridge, it lay perfectly still. (I know, there is some Physics principle involved here, but I didn't understand it in 11th grade and I don't understand it now.) Of course, the train was crowded and a guy in a business suit was standing inches in front of the cap, completely oblivious to the situation. A couple of minutes went by and the woman was still trying to clear off her lap. The businessman shifted his weight, inching closer to the cap. It was still where it had fallen and I wondered if I should get it for her. Finally, she started to get up, balancing her stocky frame by holding on to the pole in the middle of the car.
She's got it, I thought, as I re-opened my book. Moments after I found the the last line that I had read, an unnatural cracking sound reverberated through the car.
I look at the ground.
The businessman had crushed the cap beneath his wingtips. Small pieces of black plastic were now strewn around the largest piece of the cap, which was now considerably flatter and had lengthy cracks in it. I looked for the woman. Seeing, the extent of the damage, she let go of the pole and slumped back down in her seat.
She took out a tissue and wrapped the clumpy brush in it and put the whole stick back in her purse.
She had been so close.
Monday, April 12, 2004
KIDS AND GUNS
"A 13-year-old boy accused of accidentally shooting his younger brother during a game of "cowboys and Indians" has been charged with manslaughter. "
Well, at least his 2nd amendment rights weren't trampled.
Via Intl News
"A 13-year-old boy accused of accidentally shooting his younger brother during a game of "cowboys and Indians" has been charged with manslaughter. "
Well, at least his 2nd amendment rights weren't trampled.
Via Intl News
Thanks, Jayson Blair
After watching the second or third Law & Order series do its take on the Jayson Blair fiasco, I realized that thanks to him, there is now one more role for African-American actors to play.
After watching the second or third Law & Order series do its take on the Jayson Blair fiasco, I realized that thanks to him, there is now one more role for African-American actors to play.
He didn't bet on black
Yet, HE WON!
On Good Morning America this morning, Ashley Revell, who sold all his possessions and gambled the proceeds on a single roulette spin in Vegas, said that his first order of business was to buy new underwear since he won his gamble and doubled his money.
Now, my question: who bought this guy's used underwear?
Yet, HE WON!
On Good Morning America this morning, Ashley Revell, who sold all his possessions and gambled the proceeds on a single roulette spin in Vegas, said that his first order of business was to buy new underwear since he won his gamble and doubled his money.
Now, my question: who bought this guy's used underwear?
Saturday, April 10, 2004
Thursday, April 08, 2004
Off-Road Rage?
Prosecutors charge man with murder after he kills another man who was trying to steal his car.
Reminds me of this story.
Also, I would like noted for certain snobby people, that a man was willing to kill and another man died, for ... a HONDA!!
Told ya they were cool.
Prosecutors charge man with murder after he kills another man who was trying to steal his car.
Reminds me of this story.
Also, I would like noted for certain snobby people, that a man was willing to kill and another man died, for ... a HONDA!!
Told ya they were cool.
WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?
This story about the Georgia Archbishop excluding women from Maundy Thursday foot-washing rituals in his diocese, reminded me of one aspect of the Catholic church that has long-annoyed me.
When I was 15, I started doing the Sunday readings on the altar during mass. I did it every Sunday, sometimes also on Saturdays, for a year and a half.
I was enthusiastic, projected-well and had impeccable English pronounciation. Now, I don't want to say "beloved by all," but if they did reviews in the weekly bulletin, that's what it would say.
In March of my second year of reading, the parish got a new pastor -- a Monsignor from Haiti.
Suddenly, I was beloved by all, but one.
He didn't think women should be on the altar at all and certainly not doing the biblical readings. Enough people complained the first week after my removal, that I was reinstated, but on Easter Sunday he emphatically refused to let me stay on the altar.
"You read and then go back to the pew." Words don't quite convey the tone of "and don't let your girly cooties soil the pulpit while you're up there."
My mom was livid. I've mentioned her penchant for grudge-holding revenge before and this was no different.
After Easter mass she swore she wouldn't go back to the E.C.B. parish until he was gone, she resigned from teaching Sunday School and stopped donating money to the Church.
We wrote letters to the Vatican.
I stayed with the Church, though and kept reading under the new rules -- hoping to change this stubborn male-dominated mind-set. I never did.
The Pope has since issued orders marginalizing women further, sometimes priests protest the rulings
as they are doing in Georgia, but most times they are enforced without a word.
It's sad, really.
News via Iocaste
This story about the Georgia Archbishop excluding women from Maundy Thursday foot-washing rituals in his diocese, reminded me of one aspect of the Catholic church that has long-annoyed me.
When I was 15, I started doing the Sunday readings on the altar during mass. I did it every Sunday, sometimes also on Saturdays, for a year and a half.
I was enthusiastic, projected-well and had impeccable English pronounciation. Now, I don't want to say "beloved by all," but if they did reviews in the weekly bulletin, that's what it would say.
In March of my second year of reading, the parish got a new pastor -- a Monsignor from Haiti.
Suddenly, I was beloved by all, but one.
He didn't think women should be on the altar at all and certainly not doing the biblical readings. Enough people complained the first week after my removal, that I was reinstated, but on Easter Sunday he emphatically refused to let me stay on the altar.
"You read and then go back to the pew." Words don't quite convey the tone of "and don't let your girly cooties soil the pulpit while you're up there."
My mom was livid. I've mentioned her penchant for grudge-holding revenge before and this was no different.
After Easter mass she swore she wouldn't go back to the E.C.B. parish until he was gone, she resigned from teaching Sunday School and stopped donating money to the Church.
We wrote letters to the Vatican.
I stayed with the Church, though and kept reading under the new rules -- hoping to change this stubborn male-dominated mind-set. I never did.
The Pope has since issued orders marginalizing women further, sometimes priests protest the rulings
as they are doing in Georgia, but most times they are enforced without a word.
It's sad, really.
News via Iocaste
ISN'T IT IRONIC
Justice Antonin Scalia said in a speech yesterday:
"The Constitution of the United States is extraordinary and amazing. People just don't revere it like they used to," Scalia told a full auditorium of high school students, officials, religious leaders.
His deputy marshals then seized the tape recorders of reporters in the room and erased them.
Justice Antonin Scalia said in a speech yesterday:
"The Constitution of the United States is extraordinary and amazing. People just don't revere it like they used to," Scalia told a full auditorium of high school students, officials, religious leaders.
His deputy marshals then seized the tape recorders of reporters in the room and erased them.
God Bless America
There's a huge television in the middle of Times Square in NYC right now showing Rice's testimony before the 9/11 Commission.
On my way to work, I stopped to watch a bit of it and since NBC hasn't figured out how to get audio through (or how to turn on the Closed Captioning feature) I was just struck by the visual scene.
A sole African-American woman wearing a simple gray suit sitting in front of about two dozen white men, not serving them, not entertaining them, just talking to them.
Then, behind her, scores of unemployed widows, who through sheer force of will, made the President's advisors and some of the most powerful political forces of our time, come together on a Thursday morning before all the world to explain why their husbands are dead.
Un-freaking-believable. Only in America.
There's a huge television in the middle of Times Square in NYC right now showing Rice's testimony before the 9/11 Commission.
On my way to work, I stopped to watch a bit of it and since NBC hasn't figured out how to get audio through (or how to turn on the Closed Captioning feature) I was just struck by the visual scene.
A sole African-American woman wearing a simple gray suit sitting in front of about two dozen white men, not serving them, not entertaining them, just talking to them.
Then, behind her, scores of unemployed widows, who through sheer force of will, made the President's advisors and some of the most powerful political forces of our time, come together on a Thursday morning before all the world to explain why their husbands are dead.
Un-freaking-believable. Only in America.
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
UPDATE
Remember the Utah woman who refused a C-section and was charged with murder?
She pled guilty to two counts of child endangerment. Prosecutors dropped the murder charge.
Remember the Utah woman who refused a C-section and was charged with murder?
She pled guilty to two counts of child endangerment. Prosecutors dropped the murder charge.
UPDATE
Remember the case where the public defender asked to be released from representation, after the defendant punched her colleague?
He was sentenced to life in prison.
Remember the case where the public defender asked to be released from representation, after the defendant punched her colleague?
He was sentenced to life in prison.
DEPRESSING
My friend's wife just had a baby girl (who now shares my middle name, I might add. Coincidence? I don't think so.) and I went looking for a gift for her. Here's one item that popped up under "girl baby fashion:"
Yeah, hip-hugger, boot leg jeans for babies. It's what all the cool rug rats are wearing.
More fun with babies here:
I particularly like:
"It's all take, take, take, and nothing in return.
I'm not joking. About two weeks after he came home, I turned to Ari, sitting in his rocking chair, and said something in baby talk. He turned his head and looked at me. And it was the most wonderful, amazing moment of my life. I was like, "finally! There's a point to this nightmare!"
Let's think about this for a second. I was excited because he looked at me. That's how starved for reciprocity I am. We feed the kid (well, Elisa does. I don't have boobs. More on that later), clothe him (every five minutes since he keeps puking on himself), bathe him (the puking thing again), provide shelter, and cater to his every whim. In return, we ... don't go to jail. That's it!
Ari better thank whoever wrote the criminal code."
My friend's wife just had a baby girl (who now shares my middle name, I might add. Coincidence? I don't think so.) and I went looking for a gift for her. Here's one item that popped up under "girl baby fashion:"
Yeah, hip-hugger, boot leg jeans for babies. It's what all the cool rug rats are wearing.
More fun with babies here:
I particularly like:
"It's all take, take, take, and nothing in return.
I'm not joking. About two weeks after he came home, I turned to Ari, sitting in his rocking chair, and said something in baby talk. He turned his head and looked at me. And it was the most wonderful, amazing moment of my life. I was like, "finally! There's a point to this nightmare!"
Let's think about this for a second. I was excited because he looked at me. That's how starved for reciprocity I am. We feed the kid (well, Elisa does. I don't have boobs. More on that later), clothe him (every five minutes since he keeps puking on himself), bathe him (the puking thing again), provide shelter, and cater to his every whim. In return, we ... don't go to jail. That's it!
Ari better thank whoever wrote the criminal code."
Think she'll do 'Against All Enemies,' next?
Iocaste has posted a great review of 'Price of Loyalty.'
Money quote:
O’Neill is at his most convincing when he compares the workings of the Bush White House with the workings of the Nixon and Ford White Houses. O’Neill explains how those presidents required detailed briefings on proposed policy initiatives and encouraged freewheeling discussions. By contrast, Bush can barely digest single-page memos, and holds meetings where the Cabinet heads are instructed, ahead of time, to speak only on particular subjects and to express particular ideas. (I imagine those must be pretty short meetings – “Well, guys, we all know what we think …”) Nixon and Ford could “hold the center in any room on any issue”; Bush eschews analysis and tells O’Neill that he just “goes on instinct.”
In other words, the Bush motto: “Don’t confuse me with facts.”
I also agree with her point that "as liberal as I am, I’m distrustful of anyone as liberal as me. (In other words, I’m a bit leery of any club that would have me as a member). "
hahahahahahahahaha
Iocaste has posted a great review of 'Price of Loyalty.'
Money quote:
O’Neill is at his most convincing when he compares the workings of the Bush White House with the workings of the Nixon and Ford White Houses. O’Neill explains how those presidents required detailed briefings on proposed policy initiatives and encouraged freewheeling discussions. By contrast, Bush can barely digest single-page memos, and holds meetings where the Cabinet heads are instructed, ahead of time, to speak only on particular subjects and to express particular ideas. (I imagine those must be pretty short meetings – “Well, guys, we all know what we think …”) Nixon and Ford could “hold the center in any room on any issue”; Bush eschews analysis and tells O’Neill that he just “goes on instinct.”
In other words, the Bush motto: “Don’t confuse me with facts.”
I also agree with her point that "as liberal as I am, I’m distrustful of anyone as liberal as me. (In other words, I’m a bit leery of any club that would have me as a member). "
hahahahahahahahaha
First Jesus, now 'Pants'
MTV is bleeping the words "get in my pants" from Avril Lavigne's new video for the song "Don't Tell Me." Meanwhile, she spends half the video prancing around in her underwear and breaking glass.
WTF?
MTV is bleeping the words "get in my pants" from Avril Lavigne's new video for the song "Don't Tell Me." Meanwhile, she spends half the video prancing around in her underwear and breaking glass.
WTF?
SAY WHAT?
Was it me or did Charlie Gibson ask the new Bachelor, Jesse Palmer, if "he really needed a television show to get chicks"?
Was it me or did Charlie Gibson ask the new Bachelor, Jesse Palmer, if "he really needed a television show to get chicks"?
U CONN DO IT
Wow. Rioting in Connecticut for the next two days after the men and women capture basketball championships.
Wow. Rioting in Connecticut for the next two days after the men and women capture basketball championships.
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
THAT'S GOING TO LEAVE A SCAR
Woman performs C-Section on self. Maybe she was scared the Utah police would arrest her if she didn't.
Woman performs C-Section on self. Maybe she was scared the Utah police would arrest her if she didn't.
ALL ABOUT EDUCATION AND INFORMATION
Today's Bleat zaps the right:
"Apparently the paper assumes that people are interested in what O’Reilly thinks about talk radio. But when was the last time you heard someone say “you know, Bill O’Reilly made an excellent argument about that very point.” He’s a red throbbing thumb, and that’s all. And in the other hand: his hammer."
And the left:
"Americans strung up and burned. Big-time blogger says “screw them.” Blogger suffers blowback, just as a mainstream columnist would suffer if he wrote that it was time to nuke Mecca or pave Fallujah. And there are consequences? Welcome to the real world. "
That is all.
Today's Bleat zaps the right:
"Apparently the paper assumes that people are interested in what O’Reilly thinks about talk radio. But when was the last time you heard someone say “you know, Bill O’Reilly made an excellent argument about that very point.” He’s a red throbbing thumb, and that’s all. And in the other hand: his hammer."
And the left:
"Americans strung up and burned. Big-time blogger says “screw them.” Blogger suffers blowback, just as a mainstream columnist would suffer if he wrote that it was time to nuke Mecca or pave Fallujah. And there are consequences? Welcome to the real world. "
That is all.
