Clareified

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

This is priceless.

I mean, not only is there a new Angel on that week, it's also the live two-hour finale of 'The Apprentice.'

Turn off the TV *week*? hahahahahahahahahahahaha. They kill me.

ON AIR

Things learned from liberal radio so far:
1. Republicans held voting open an extra 23 minutes so that they could strong-arm the votes needed to defeat a proposition that would halt tax-cutting power until the deficits were under control.

2. Families of soldiers in Iraq are spending $1200 of their own money to buy body armor for their loved ones who are shipped out.

3. A bill to increase unemployment benefits has been stalled by Republicans.

4. Tomorrow is National I'm embarrassed by my President Day.

5. I don't like streaming radio and will have to get a battery-powered radio for my office.

SO FREAKING CLOSE

Yesterday's winning Mega Millions numbers: 3, 27, 31, 41, 45 ; Megaball: 33

Dawn's Mega Millions numbers: 5, 29, 32, 42, 47; Megaball: 22


I didn't have the ticket in front of me during the drawing and so until five minutes ago, I totally thought I had won.

COURT OF WORLD OPINION RULES AGAINST U.S.

World Court orders U.S. to review the cases of Mexican citizens on death row in the U.S. to see if they had been properly informed of their rights to seek help from Mexico.

The case raises the specter of the German citizens executed in Arizona despite intervention by the world court on their behalf.

My guess is Captain Unilateral couldn't care less.

I see your spin-off and I raise you a sitcom

Reportedly Camryn Manheim of 'The Practice' will get her own sitcom. New lead James Spader has already been tapped to head a new hour-long dramatic spin-off of the series.

According to insiders, Manheim's character, Ellenor Frutt, will return to her hometown after the show ends and hijinks will ensue.

First question, who gets cast as her daughter? Since television can SORAS what would be a toddler, I'm guessing they'll hire a 7-8 year-old actress. How about that Jersey Girl kid?

For The Love of Mary

Music Teacher suspended for prank.

CIA searches for Clarke contradictions

I guess they don't have anything better to do

NOW, THIS IS ALARMING NEWS

The Progressive
On February 16, a Crawford jury convicted five peace activists of violating the parade and procession ordinance of Crawford, Texas.

Amanda Jack was in the last car of the caravan, and she saw the other cars pulled over. Some of the occupants had gotten out with their signs to see what was going on, she says. But they were not demonstrating there.


Police Chief Donnie Tidmore ordered everyone to get back in their cars within three minutes or face arrest, Jack says. "I went back up to ask Chief Tidmore if people could have more time, and as I was doing this, deputies came up and started to arrest one of our members. Another legal observer was trying to find out the name of the person arrested when she, too, got arrested. I asked, where are you taking these people? And they arrested me."


Jack, the assistant director of Casa Marianella, a shelter for recently arrived immigrants and refugees, was held overnight in the Waco jail with the four others.


Their names are Ken Zarifis, Amara Maliszewski, Trish Major, and Michael Machicek.


Zarifis is an eighth-grade English teacher in Austin. He, too, was a legal observer on May 3. "My intention was just to keep an eye on what was going on, and if civil liberties were being violated, I would jot them down," he says.


But like Amanda Jack's, his watchfulness was not appreciated.

Zarifis saw the police arresting two people, including another legal observer, so he went up to the policeman.


"I asked the officer what his name and badge number was, and he told me, 'Step off the road, I'm going to arrest you.' I wasn't really in the road, but I stepped back four or five feet off the grass, and I said, 'I still need to ask why you're arresting them,' and he then arrested me and took me to the van."

via The Fulcrum

Fulcrum calls this story appalling and unconstitutional. I hope a court sees it the same way. I think the worst part of the story was when the police officer tells the woman to put down her sign, but if she does she'll be cited for littering. WTF?

TO REPUBLICANS IT'S ALL JUST A BIG JOKE

The recent firestorm about Bush making light of not finding any weapons of mass in Iraq, reminded me of a "joke" circulating the conservative blogs for a while now.

It goes something like this: Thanks to George W. Bush my two sons were killed in Iraq and I lost my job. If Clinton were President this never would have happened. Big punchline? Sincerely, Saddam Hussein.

Doubled over in hysterics, yet?

I know, they think they're clever, but what makes this "joke" possible is the reality that many families are being forever changed by the deaths of soldiers in combat zones around the world and many people who aren't Saddam have lost their jobs and are struggling to stay afloat on a mixture of credit debt and alcohol.
It's all fun and games when we're talking meglomaniacal dictator, but what about your dad? or your mom? or you?
Still laughing?

Sorry ma'am, it's just an airline slush fund

Daniel Pearl's widow not entitled to collect victim's hush money. Er, I mean compensation funds. Potato, Tomato, let's call the whole thing off.
Seriously.

TO PETER: WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

According to the NY Post:


"TOKYO March 30, 2004, 9:03 a.m. -- Like sushi rotting in the sun, the Yankees stunk this morning at the Tokyo Dome. In any language, the odor drifting across the Pacific toward New York and Tampa was rank. For this Yankee fans awoke at 5 a.m.? "

Clareified: All about education and information.

ON SECOND THOUGHT, CONDI-DO

Embattled National Security Advisor will testify under oath before the 9/11 Commission.

I'm guessing somebody figured out the difference between Congress and those appointed by Congress.

EIGHT DIRTY WORDS YOU CAN'T SAY ON TELEVISION?

Censors bleeped Janet Jackson last night for saying 'Jesus' on David Letterman.

Can Congressional hearings about Amy Grant's music be far behind?

A VOTE FOR NADER IS A VOTE FOR KERRY?

Poll indicates that Nader pulls votes from Kerry and Bush, equally!

WATCH YOUR BACK BRITNEY

On the Today Show this morning, an Executive at People magazine said, in response to Matt Lauer's question about any cover photos that have bombed:

The worst was when we ran Ann-margaret's photo the week that Elvis died because we thought Elvis' death was too much of a downer for the cover "Of course, we've learned that the death of celebrities, especially tragically, is very good business for us."

IT'S JUST ONE BABY

Conservative gun nuts often mock gun-control advocates' invocation of child safety as one of the reasons increased gun regulation is necessary. The derision usually goes something like "how many kids really die as a result of guns?"
I'm guessing this mom will think her one baby is enough.

OPEN DOOR POLICY

According to a Circuit Court, cops can now search a home without a warrant.

Better hide the kiddie porn and sawed off shotguns, folks.

(I don't even want to imagine the search requests this post is now going to show up for...)

Kucizzle in the hizzle!"

Lest everyone forget, there is another candidate for the Democratic Party Presidential nomination. I'm glad that Letterman is still working on a strategy for victory!

Highlights of the Top Ten:


9. Constitution is amended stating presidents must be 35 or older, a natural-born citizen and named "Dennis."

7. You want crazy campaign promises -- fine! If I'm elected, everybody gets a million bucks.

3. According to the order of presidential succession, if George W. Bush were to resign today, along with Dick Cheney and about 300 other people, the presidency passes to a congressman from Ohio.

More here.

Kucinich '04!

44 years and still this is an issue?


Kerry: I'm no Pope puppet

YOU AND ME BOTH, GARFIELD

I hate Mondays. Can't they put Alias on Monday nights? Move Malcolm and Arrested Development to Wednesdays or Tuesday at 9.

KERRY COULD HAVE READ BEST OF THE WEB FOR FREE

Presumptive Democratic nominee hires political consultant who tells him to stop being so 'French.'

LIFE EXPERIENCE #32

You can, in fact, burn a paper cup, full of milk, in a microwave.

BRING...IT...ON

Kerry challenges Bush Admin to prosecute Clarke for perjury.

Suddenly all that "jail cell next to Martha" talk doesn't seem so crazy.

You Don't Say

Federal judge sentences former Dynegy VP Jamie Olis to 24 years in prison, leading critics to claim that federal sentencing guidelines are too harsh.
"Twenty-four years is the stiffest sentence doled out to a white-collar criminal in recent years, experts said. Short of capital punishment or a life sentence, the prison term, in practice, puts Olis in the same category as murderers and robbers."

For the record he did "steal" $300 million, most robbers don't come close to seeing that much loot.

RANDOM THOUGHT #15,001 & #15,002

If the Apprentice ends with Donald "this is my own hair, it just sucks" Trump saying "You're Hired," I am going to wretch.

Either Kwami or Nick will be fired next week.

LENNY, SAY IT AIN'T SO!!

Orbach may leave Law & Order at Season's End.

WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE SHE WAS PUNCHED IN THE FACE


Judge orders attorney to continue working with client who attacked her co-counsel. After being jailed for contempt when she refused, an appeals court upheld the trial court's ruling.

META TELEVISION

I don't know if it started with the Newhart series finale where it turned out the show was all a crazy dream by the Bob Newhart show's crazy physchiatrist... nah, that's much more in the crossover genre, a la Spin City's former deputy mayor, Michael Flaherty commenting that he'd met Family Ties' Alex P. Keaton in D.C. or Ally McBeal kissing Bobby Donnell.

So maybe it started with the Simpsons riffing on the Cosby Show in the episode where Bleeding Gums dies or Murphy Brown watching the real-life Dan Quayle accuse her eroding family values at a press conference. TV characters commenting on television happenings was certainly in full bloom by the time Jerry Seinfeld was hooked up to "Polly" when his date didn' t believe that he'd never watched 'Melrose Place.'

And this past week it's just been all the rage. First Junior Soprano imagines that 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' is about him when he flips past it, while scanning the television's offerings. Then Karen and Jack despair about losing Sex and the City, but comfort themselves with the knowledge that they'll always have 'Fraiser' and 'Friends'...until they realize, they won't.

The toungue-in-cheek, wink and nod definitely gets the quick laughs from those in the know. Television junkies are rewarded with a nationally watched head-pat for their commitment, not just to one show, but to all of television.

It's a tricky trick to pull on viewers. I mean if Karen and Jack are watching Friends, what comes on after it in their New York City? If Junior gets HBO how has he managed to miss the reelentless blitz of On-Demand Sopranos?

OK, so it's not a serious issue like whether President Bush can make fun of the MIA WMD, but it really makes you think.

After all, it's television.

(Though I am looking forward to more on-air Simpsons/South Park anifeuding.)

P.S. How is it that the 8 p.m., Sunday night Simpsons can get away with several man-on-man open mouth kisses, but the 9 p.m., Thursday night Will has to give the shoulder to shoulder camp counselor hug to his boyfriend?

Kerry Giveth, and Kerry Taketh Away

Kerry advocates closing tax loopholes on American companies relocating jobs and production abroad... but then will use the increased revenue to lower corporate taxes.

Half-way there.

MY, WHAT A BIG MOUTH YOU HAVE





All the better to blow...up at scandalous participants of the politics of personal destruction with, my dear.

CONGRESS WITHOUT DELAY?


Republican House leader Tom DeLay may step down from his post if a *Texas* grand jury indicts him.

PREDATOR




Condi waits for Richard Clarke to finish up his Congressional testimony before engaging him in a little chat with her friends left fist and right fist.

Better Late Than Never


New York Times fires Ted Rall because of complaints from conservatives.

In related news, the New York Times sets fire to its headquarters and closes up shop. (See Coulter, Psycho: Ctr+F Mcveigh)

via Iocaste

OVERHEARD



The U.S. had no plans to join most of the Western world, or bolster efforts at the United Nations, to condemn Israel.

"We've invaded two countries since 9/11," explained one official. "How can we condemn what Israel is doing?"

BEAUTY OF HAVING A BLOG

I didn't think I'd have two American Idol posts in one day, but here goes.

Drudge is reporting that top Fox executives regret airing footage of Simon Cowell resting his head on his middle finger.

"The nation's top TV show is at the center of a fresh decency debate after AMERICAN IDOL judge Simon Cowell gestured a one finger salute during Tuesday night's broadcast from Hollywood.

The obscene gesture came during a heated exchange with fellow judge Paula Abdul. Cowell held his middle finger to his cheek as Abdul railed against comments made about a contestant. "

I have no doubt that Cowell was merely resting his head (which had to have been throbbing: see post below) on his finger. He shifted between the index and the middle during his comments. This "controversy" is simply ridiculous.
Simon "you look like your mother dressed you" Cowell, doesn't do subtle.

If Cowell were to flip the bird every time he had a heated exchange with Paula, his middle finger would be permanently stapled to his right cheek.

WICTORY WEDNESDAY




Talk about drinking the kool-aid.

via Iddybud

DON'T DO IT

You can start watching American Idol too soon. You can find yourself clapsing your hands to your ears and writhing on the floor in horror. (For those who watched the sci fi nightmare that was last night's 'Country Music' themed AI Finals, Latoya was no doubt the exception.)

You can find yourself thinking that when Simon Cowell says "you're out of your depth with no chance of winning this competition," he was being too damn nice. You can start wishing that American Idol was more of a contact sport where a panel of crazy Jerry Springer castoffs can smash chairs over the heads of those inflicting devastating injury on classics like 'Desperado' and will be classics like 'Sin Wagon.' You can do all those things, but don't.

Instead, join me over at the WB and watch as all the female classmates in the house kick Gabe's ass for three-timing them in high school and pull Ericka's hair out strand by strand for faking a preganancy and 'tricking' him into marrying her! (Other moments to look for: will the former pipsqueak-turned-hot-guy hook up with the "teen mom" or the "gay guy." Will the quarterback win the heart of the homecoming queen who broke up with him ten years ago? Will the nerd break down and finally lop off his heinous ponytail in the hopes of impressing the "flirt.")

Now, that's entertainment ... AI, I'll see you guys when you've winnowed the cesspool to people who can sing.

WILL THEY ALSO PROVIDE ISRAEL WITH A MAP TO HIS HOUSE?


Hamas announced that this guy is its new leader.




Take a page out of the Sopranos play book and name the old, senile Arafat your new leader.

OVERHEARD


Girl: I'm not really sure who Allah is, but I don't think he blogs.

IS BUSH REALLY GOOD ON TERROR?

Rummy says that the U.S. could not have stopped 9/11 even if they had captured or killed bin Laden.

He also says that we *will* suffer another terrorist attack on our shores.

So why exactly should they be returned to office?

EVIDENTLY, IT DOES NEED TO BE SAID

The office bathroom is for the necessary evacuation of bodily waste and hand washing. Sometimes it is also for rinsing reusable containers.

It is not for chit chat, socializing or (ewwwwwwwwwww) eating your lunch.

That is all.

HAMAS PROMISES TO RETALIATE

After Israel killed its founder yesterday, Hamas militants vowed to "shake Israel like an earthquake."

Had said militant been the least bit hip and with it, he would have promised to shake Israel like a Polaroid picture.

But then he would have to pay royalties to Outkast.

THE PRACTICE: The Trial


First, they brought Lucy back. Now, the stage is set for a good old fashion knock-down dragged out court battle about how ethical the law firm is.

Heh heh.

Think they'll bring back some old guest stars (or stars!) to testify? How many name partners were tried on homocide charges? How many times each?

What will Helen Gamble or Lindsay Dole have to say?

Maybe Bobby will make a court appearance!

MIGHT 'ANGEL' STAY IN AMERICA?

Angel fans go all out to save their favorite undead Champion!

FRIENDSTERS AND OTHER THINGS THAT ONLY EXIST IN CYBERSPACE

I don't go out very much.

Some crazy combination of being a corporate lawyer and an only child with a TV addiction who lives in East Coco Beach conspires to keep me away from the harsh glow of sunlight and loud chatter of other humans.

For the most part, it works out.

I usually get a rock stars' greeting when I do drop by birthday parties and housewarmings and the like; well, if rock stars are greeted with "woo hoo Dawn's here ... hmmm you've gained weight."

Even when Karol was in the hospital I got the "huh, I can't believe you actually came" stare for a good hour. (The next day's "huh. two days in a row? what? did someone tell you I was going to die" stare was at least fifteen minutes long.)

I don't much care for the phones either -- hurts my neck and my wrist and the awkward silences...well, you get the picture.

However, I used to be an amazing e-mailer. Long epistles, witty retorts, emoticons up the wazoo. I had a 24 hour response time and at-the-ready group mailing lists carefully organized by affiliation: YDN, BK, PP, KTA, CLS, FF.

But now... well, I haven't logged in to some of my yahoo accounts for weeks, I forgot to tell dozens of people that I left _LLP and now I get messages at my *friendster* account asking where I am. The very saddest part is that after getting those friendster messages, I didn't contritely reply to my dear friendsters or immediately start drafting e-mails to my yahoo address book names. Nope.
I logged straight in to blogger, to post about it.
Now is when a normal person starts worrying about a cat eating her face after she dies alone in her four-story walk-up studio apartment.

GOTTA LOVE THE OLD GUY

NY COUNTY D.A. WILL NOT PROSECUTE GAY MARRIAGE PERFORMERS

KERRY CELEBRATES FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF IRAQ WAR




I guess I should have been more specific about the Kerry vacation. I don't want to see or hear you for a week. Now you've got to start over.


Clareified: all about the education and information.

NO BUSH REWARD MONEY

" Four weeks ago, "Doonesbury" creator Garry Trudeau announced in his cartoon strip the "Bush Guard Service" contest: "We're offering $10,000 cash to any witness who can definitively corroborate Mr. Bush's claim" that three decades before he became President, he served in the Alabama National Guard. "So if you served with Mr. Bush - even if only in the officers' club - we want to hear from you right now! Why? So we can put this trash story to rest and get back to the real issues." Well, it turns out that no credible witness has come forward to claim the prize, so this week Trudeau mailed a personal check for $10,000 to the USO. "We're extremely grateful for his generosity," USO Vice President John Hansen told me yesterday. But has Trudeau's check cleared? "Oh, I think he's good for it.""

TOO FUNNY

Click here now.

Still laughing.

Also click on 'igry.' It is a great word for a feeling we've all had.

THE HITS KEEP COMING

Did the Bushies intentionally conceal the cost of the Medicare bill?
All signs point to yes.

"These conversations among three government employees — an obscure Congressional aide, a little-known actuary and a high-level official — remained secret until now, and Ms. Bjorklund still does not know who sent the fax. But Mr. Foster went public last week, and details of his struggle for independence within the Bush administration are now emerging, raising questions about whether the White House intentionally withheld crucial data from lawmakers.

The administration says Democrats, whose Medicare proposals would have cost nearly $1 trillion, are exploiting the controversy for political gain at the expense of the elderly. But some Republicans are openly questioning the White House, and the Senate Democratic leader, Tom Daschle of South Dakota, said he saw a "growing scandal over the Medicare drug bill."

From NYT

Bush Administration Strips Gay Federal Employees

... of their job protections.

"Gay and lesbians in the entire federal workforce have had their job protections officially removed by the office of Special Counsel. The new Special Counsel, Scott Bloch, says his interpretation of a 1978 law intended to protect employees and job applicants from adverse personnel actions is that gay and lesbian workers are not covered.

Bloch said that the while a gay employee would have no recourse for being fired or demoted for being gay, that same worker could not be fired for attending a gay Pride event.

In his interpretation, Bloch is making a distinction between one’s conduct as a gay or lesbian and one’s status as a gay or lesbian."



via Musings Musing

****UPDATE****

From Andrew Sullivan:

"The Bush administration, for its part, has now come out of its own closet. It's in the forefront of attacks on gays, with Karl Rove leading the brigades, urging activists to keep up the pressure on writing anti-gay discrimination into the constitution itself. During the internal debate on the constitutional amendment, gay Republicans were shut out completely. The administration is also busily reneging on its promise not to roll back federal protections for gay government employees. No one can spin this attack on gay employees as a response to "judicial activism." It's pure animus, directed and supported by the fundamentalist right. I have to say that I have been culpably naive about this administration on this issue. They led me to believe they weren't hostile to gay people, that they would not use anti-gay sentiment to gain votes, that they would not roll back very basic protections for gay federal employees. I was lied to. We were all lied to. But now we know."

Speaking of Crazy Marketing

For the love of Mary: WHY??

So I guess he's gay?

I love, love, love Clay Aiken.

I have loved, loved, loved (in order from childhood to adulthood): Ralph Tresvant, George Michael, Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Jesse L. Martin.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.


***UPDATE***

Dammit, those bleeping bleeping marketers at American Idol have put Clay's new song on a separate two song CD. Grrr. This is why people download music.

MORE ON SPAIN

From a commenter on a post that reveals that the Socialists were leading *before* the attacks.

"Hi!

I´m a Spaniard. So you may want to read my opinion.

The main reason, in my opinion, why the Socialist Pary have won the elections, is not the bombimgs, or the thoguht that participating in a war that we, the mojority of us (as shown on the streets), didn´t want. Not at all. The main reason was the manipulating behaviour of our government (formed by de Popular Party) during the days after the terrorist attacks, claiming that it was ETA when there was proof it wasn´t, because being an islamist group could hurt their results in the elections.

It has been tense here, till the point that people went spontaneisly on the streets on Saturday yo ask our government for answers before voting. The answers didn´t really come. The public television channel did manipulate and hide information. Many (the majority, as seen in the election results) had the terrible feeling of being cheated by our government. Which is more terrible when they lie on the dead.

That was the last thing many of us needed to say "enough!", and the PP has been punished. And it´s not only that we were cheated. Our neigbour countries were, too, when our External Affairs minister send letters to our embassadors encouraging them to announce publicly that the auhotrs of the bombigs were ETA, when they had increasing proof that it was not, making those terrible events a international problem, not only domestic. They should have warned our neighbous to allow them to go on alert. And they didn´t.

We are no cowards. We are not making what Al-Qaeda wants. We have been, in my opinion, very brave, and i feel proud of all those people that went on the street. And i´m proud that my people have chosen a change when we could not stand such a government anymore. Just to let you know, the Socialist Pary was against the Irak war from the very beginning, and thus they are acting now consequently."

Via Instapundit

FRIENDS ARE OVERRATED, KID

From the oft-funny Lileks

"One of Gnat’s friends came over this afternoon for a playdate. The entire panoply of human emotion was manifested in those 120 minutes. Hissy fits, jealousy, the boundless glee of friendship. Let’s paint, kids! Here’s some pictures, here’s some new paints.

I want to use this color, says Gnat’s friend.

I WANT TO USE THAT COLOR, Gnat replied. Note: there are 48 colors. Take child aside for a lesson. When you go to Livvy’s house, she lets you play with her toys, right?

Head shake no.

Oh, right. I’m sure she does. Look at me, Gnat. Look at me, kid. Would you rather have all the colors for yourself and have no friends, or share your colors and have a friend?

She chews that one over for a while; clearly, each position has merits."

Moments later...

"By now the girls were best of friends again, painting with gusto. I returned to my newspaper.

“Let’s put our hands in the paint and paint the floor,” said her friend. “Again!”

What the – I looked up, and sure enough they were on hands and knees spreading paint on the floor, giggling like – well, little girls define the essence of giggling, so any analogy would be insufficient. You need an old-fashioned steam-whistle in these situations, something that says QUITTIN’ TIME. I delivered a stern lecture, took away the paints, cleaned it all up. They went off to conspire. A few minutes later they returned, contrite: “we’re sorry we put paints on the floor,” said Gnat’s friend. “Yes, daddy, we’re sorry,” said Gnat.

“You’re forgiven,” I said. “But remember, putting paint on the floor, or walls, is a big nokey-dokey.” (Yes, I speak in Rolie Polie Olie lingo. Especially since Gnat has rebounded with Olie in a big way.)

Pause.

“Can we have the paints now?”

No. "

hahahahahahaha, gotta love it.

Let's Put the Party back in Partisan

This morning I read the following in amNew York, the free newspaper, evidently it's from a few days ago, though.

Jonah Goldberg writes:

"By any historical measure, Bush hasn't gone negative at all yet. And all but the most vicious anti-Bush rhetoric from the Democrats isn't that big a deal by historical standards. In 1828 Andrew Jackson's wife was smeared as a bigamist, his mother a hooker, and he a murderer. Meanwhile Jackson's people put out the word that John Quincy Adams was a pimp for the czar of Russia. Now that's going negative!

The fact is campaigns have been progressively nicer for centuries. I don't know if that's good or bad, though I suspect bad. Regardless, democracy is about arguments, not feelings. So let's have some good arguments before we start complaining about how mean the campaign has gotten. We've got time."


No need to read the whole thing, that right there is money part. Now, let's roll! (Psst, did you hear the one about Bush driving his girlfriend to an abortion?)

IT'S WAR, NOT A LOTTERY

The NYT reports:

"It has been nearly a year since the war in Iraq started but American military commanders are just now reckoning with the volume of civilian casualties streaming in for assistance. Twice a week, at a center in Baghdad, masses of grief-weary Iraqis line up, some on crutches, some disfigured, some clutching photographs of smashed houses and silenced children, all ready to file a claim for money or medical treatment. It is part of a compensation process devised for this war."

Read the rest here.

This may be harsh, but why are we giving cash payments to family members of casualties? Ever since the Airline welfare program that handed out millions of dollars to 9/11 families that were already financially wealthy, in order to protect the airline industry from lawuits, I've wondered whether cash payments are an appropriate government response to tragedy. That money could be used to build Iraqi schools, or train new CIA operatives, it ain't going to bring back the dead. So let's use it to make life better for all of us.

HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, BUT NOT IN THE STARS

We've been making all these advances in space science lately. Mars rovers, 10th planets, earliest picture of the universe. Lots of bloggers that I read are all over the new findings.

I, on the other hand, could care less.

I mean sure, if they discover an asteroid hurtling toward earth guaranteed to end civilization as we know it in a month, or if something goes horribly wrong and the shuttle blows up or a malfunction on the station imperils the lives of the brave astronauts --- I'll be watching the coverage 24 hours a day.

But pictures of stars and red, dry rock? Why don't you just film grass growing or paint drying? Has anything come of all this space exploration that has helped mankind here on earth (and don't say Tang, although it does rock and may very well make space travel worth it.)

A while ago, Instapundit suggested that we focus the space programs to work on an asteroid defense system ( What happened to that little Maelstrom triangle spaceship that spins around 360 degrees shooting little pellets at them? I was very good at that in college.) I think that's a great idea.

Or have them figure out how to open up time-space continuum worm holes, so we can go back and forth in time. (Yes, I rented Donnie Darko this weekend, why do you ask?)

Put the human drama back in all this space stuff.

Ooh, you know what would be cool? You know how the Mars rover apparently found water under the surface and deserts that are very much like earth's?

Well, what if they discover a Clay Aiken Cd or an old VCR under there and it turns out that Mars is just earth a million years from now! And then we have to race against time to figure out how to stop from drying out and turning to desert!

Dude, I'd so watch that on TV.

QUESTION OF THE DAY

How do you address a wedding invitation to a same sex married couple?

401K ROLLOVER

How do I both sell high and buy low, all the while maintaining the same level of portfolio risk?

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

Me: I'm looking at a 3 bedroom, 2 bath waterfront condo in Staten Island. It's only $356,000

Friend: Staten Island? Why don't you just move to Florida, hike your pants up to your chest, eat dinner at 4 p.m. and be done with it.

Taking Spain Too Far

I was watching one of the Sunday morning shows last week. And Tim Russert played a clip of some Republican official saying that a vote for Kerry was a vote for Osama.

Rudy Giuliani laughed off the suggestion and said something very diplomatic like ' of course, that's just partisan extremism which you get on both sides," yada yada.

But now, I'm wondering how "extreme" a thought it is when mainstream media outlets from the New York Times to CNN are calling the Spanish elections results a result of the March 11th bombings because the new Spanish leader plans to withdraw troops from Iraq. Even otherwise rational, thoughtful bloggers are bemoaning the end of the world as we know it.

The Spaniards are suddenly the French of 2004.

The Iraq war is unpopular!!!!

No WMD, no imminent threat, mounting death toll, rush to war, quagmire, etc. I'm sure everyone is familiar with the arguments, by now.

So even if you disagree and believe that victory over terrorists lies in the Iraqi borders, it's disingenous to argue that last week's bombing turned the Spanish against Iraq. Something like 90 percent of the population was opposed from the election's jumpstart.

To imply anything cowardly or appeasy (is that a word?) about the vote suggests that anyone who isn't fully on board with Bush/Cheney '04 if and when we get attacked by the terrorists, is equally cowardly and appeasy.

Reasonable people differ on the most important of issues all the time. It's what makes for good debate -- don't cheapen that discourse by name-calling and insults. We are all better than that.

RANDOM THOUGHT #15,000

Is Alias set in 2006?

A VICTORY FOR DEMOCRACY

This weekend, Putin was re-elected to office with 69 percent of the vote. Condi Rice stopped short of critizing Putin's actions in the months leading up to the election, saying simply she doesn't know why he would attempt to suppress the independent media given his "overwhelming popularity." That made me smile. I'm guessing the media suppression, opponent intimidation and swift imprisonment of "enemies" to his administration has nothing to do with that "overwhelming popularity."
Then, in Spain, the socialists won the day in a resounding repudiation of Aznar's party. I called Karol to declare a victory for democracy.
"How is this a victory for democracy?" she glumly replied.
"Well, the people voted and who they wanted won."
"Right, record turnout and the party that was going to win didn't. They let the terrorists change the outcome."
Again, I smiled.
Certainly, there is no joy in an election victory born of bloodshed or terrorism. Violence has no place in democratic decision-making. And hey, it's not even me, the bleeding-heart liberal, who says so.
It's the cool-headed conservative.
So, hopefully, the Bushies will pull their ads flashing images of 2001's terrorist attacks. Hopefully, they will stop portraying Kerry as soft on terrorism in a blatant attempt to scare voters into returning Bush to office lest the Dems hand over the keys to the Capitol to bin Laden himself.
According to Karol, "everyone" is upset about the Spanish elections. I don't know why in a place where the debate was vigourous, the information flowed freely and the people *turned out* in record numbers, anyone has cause to complain about the results. Meanwhile, on Russia, we get... silence.
I don't want to make some predictable comment about this being the attitude of supporters of a President who didn't get the majority of the vote in the 2000 election, so let's just cheer democracy's victories where we find them.
Ole'

UTAH MOM CHARGED WITH MURDER FOR FETUS' DEATH

I've written about the absurdity of certain prosecutions based on judgments about parenting. But this case takes the cake.

"On Jan. 2, a doctor at LDS Hospital saw Rowland and recommended she immediately undergo a C-section based on the results of an ultrasound and the fetus' slowing heart rates. Rowland left after signing a document stating that she understood that leaving might result in death or brain injury to one or both twins, the doctor told police.

The same day, a nurse at Salt Lake Regional Hospital saw Rowland, who allegedly told her she had left LDS Hospital because the doctor wanted to cut her "from breast bone to pubic bone," a procedure that would "ruin her life."

LDS Hospital can't comment on the case because of medical privacy issues and the pending court case, said spokesman Robert Pexton.

The doctor who performed an autopsy found that the fetus died two days before delivery and would have survived if Rowland had undergone a C-section when urged to do so. It was not immediately clear how far along Rowland was in her pregnancy.

She was charged in Salt Lake County with one first-degree felony count of criminal homicide. Rowland was being held on $250,000 bail at the Salt Lake County jail, and was scheduled to appear in court Tuesday.

If convicted, she could be sentenced to between five years and life in prison."

Don't hate the playa, hate the Game

Reggie Jackson, alum of "The Best Team Money Can Buy," has been scolded for imputing that Barry Bonds is a steroid using fake.

It's a charge that Bonds, and Jason Giambi, are hearing a lot these days.

But as my friend (and sometime-guest blogger) J-Roam pointed out, steroid use actually causes the body to deteriote, whereas Bonds has only gotten better. Further, if steroid use is all the rage, why isn't everyone slamming home runs (believe me as a Fantasy Owner of the saddest bunch of basemen and outfielders ever assembled in the history of the game, strong hitters are gone by the second round.)

C'mon Reggie, give Bonds his due -- probably something like 100 million dollars if he'd join up with the rest of your band of merry sell-outs.

-- Sincerely

Mets fan #203.

The War on Liberals... I mean Terror


Iocaste points to an interesting link being imputed between being liberal and treason. Unfortunately, Ann Coulter's no longer alone.

3/11 Madrid Bombings

Horrible. Obviously.

I've been on that train, making that commute. I'm borderline conspiracy theorist, but is anything to be made of the fact that today is the 11th?

Supposedly an Al Qaeda affiliate is taking credit.


***UPDATE***

King of Fools has an interesting quote from the Spanish Ambassador to the U.S.:

"This is our own 9-11, and I am sure we are going to react very much the way the Americans did when they had that terrible suffering of theirs," the ambassador Francisco Javier Ruperez told CNN television. "

I wonder who they're going to invade. Iran? Turkey? Portugal?

I TOLD YOU, KAROL

HA!

You are 14% geek

OK, so maybe you ain't a geek. You do, at least, show a bit of interest in the world around you. Either that, or you have enough of a sense of humor to pick some of the sillier answers on the test. Regardless, you're probably a pretty nifty, well-rounded person who gets along fine with people and can chat with just about anyone without fear of looking stupid or foolish or overly concerned with minutiae. God, I hate you.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

FLASHBACK.... WAY BACK

FROM Buffy episode 'Doppelgangland:'


"Buffy and Xander enter the library. Giles emerges from his office; noting the looks on their faces, he asks what's wrong. Ostensibly a short time later, they're sitting on the steps, all in shock. Giles says Willow was the finest of them all. Xander: "Way better than me." Giles: "Much, much better." Aw. I can't even laugh at Xander for that, as I think Giles was implying that he, too, was nothing special compared to Willow, although I certainly beg to differ. Buffy and Xander both blame themselves. Willow walks in. "Geez. Who died?" Then, seriously: "Oh, God. Who died?" Hee. Xander runs up and sticks a cross in her face, telling her to get back. Getting no reaction, he shakes the cross and tries again. Ha! I probably would have done the same thing, I admit. What can I say? Etch-A-Sketch had a profound effect on me. Buffy approaches Willow hopefully, and then hugs her. Xander joins in. Willow says they're choking her, and they disengage. Pleased, but flummoxed, she starts to ask Giles for an explanation, but he quickly shuts her up with a bear hug. Awwwwwwww. He apologizes. Willow: "It's really nice that you guys missed me. Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?" Buffy and Xander explain what they saw at the Bronze, but don't get very far, and ask Giles for help. Giles: "Well, uh, something, something, um, very strange is happening." Xander: "Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?" Xander wins this week's "Voice Of The Recapper" prize! "

via Television Without Pity

APOLOGY

Kerry to Bush: I'm sorry that you "guys are the most crooked, you know, lying group of people I've ever seen."

The Practice Is Dead, Long Live the Practice


Thank God.

Welcome To the Blogosphere

Commenter asphnxma now has his own blog.

MARCH IS DAWN'S 'FRIEND APPRECIATION' MONTH

Last night I received a note in the mail from my college roommate with a clipping attached from last week's New York Daily News all about women bloggers who parlayed the hobby/obsession into jobs as paid columnists.

It was such an awesome gesture, and since today is my other roommate's 29th birthday, I figured this was a good time to do the "my college roommates are better than yours because they're awesome" post.

There were four of us: The "Little One," a.k.a Binda, the "Big One," a.ka. Elena, "Goober" and me, the "Black One."

Binda and I were both first generation Americans from New York, Elena and Goober were born in Taiwan and became U.S. citizens when we were in college. (They were very good about reenacting their Green Card photos, by turning their head in profile and exposing their left ear whenever I would demand proof of identification.)

When Elena filled out her college housing form, she requested a Chinese roommate, as a her first choice. She got Binda (thus, Binda was also sometimes called the mail order roommate.) They got a double and collectively became 'Bindelen.'

Goober and I were assigned to single rooms in other suites during freshman year, but we hated our suitemates and often spent the night hanging out on the floor in Bindelen's room eating frozen m&m s and making fun of the other kids in our dorm room.

Although we all had different majors and different extra-currical activities, at night we were inseparable. We had dinner together, went to the movies, got midnight ice cream flurries. So, we all moved into the same suite together during sophomore and junior year. I shared a room with Binda, and Elena remerged into "Gooberelen." As an only child and a recovering tom boy, it was great always having girls my own own age to play with -- Goober and I played Nintendo until 3 in the morning for four weeks straight, until our thumbs hurt so much, I actually got a Dean's note saying I couldn't write my English paper because my hands were too sore. I would accompany Binda on her adventures through New Haven's northernmost regions biking alongside her as her speed walked up unexplored hills and I would suck all the knowledge out of Elena's head before my physics final in the hopes of getting a passing grade. Whenever I had a late deadline for my newspaper articles, I could call home to get the all important "student comment." (Yes, Binda had a comment on everything from new dorm rooms, to city crime to cuts in library scholarships!)

A couple of years ago we all got together for Goober's wedding, and we giggled and gossiped (and fought) just like old times. (My favorite moment was the wrestling match in the Piggly Wiggly for the check... did I mention Goober got married in Arkansas?)

Everytime I'm out on the West Coast, I stay with Elena who is getting her PhD (and running her own business and working as an extra in Hollywood Blockbusters), and last summer I went White Water rafting with Binda and her siblings. She can always be counted on to send the annual birthday greetings and news updates.

They are my extended family.

The couches and guest rooms I'll always stay in when I'm nearby, even though I can afford the hotel room. Theirs are the kids I'll spoil with candy and amusement parks and tell stories about how their mommies and aunt Dawn went to the Ricky Lake show and met Davy Jones. ("Who are they?... well they're like the Jessica Simpson and Justin Timberlake of olden times, sweetie.")

So, thanks for the article, Binda and Happy Birthday, Goober!

JOHN KERRY

Look, I know all self-respecting Democrats will, at some point, have to drink the kool-aid and support John Kerry with all the money, time and energy that we can spare.
ABB is our prevailing affliction.
I, too will drink the kool-aid.
But not today.

In the past few weeks skeletor has come out against gay marriage, for a constitutional ban in Massachusetts, for Howard Stern's suspension, endorsed more tax cuts, proclaimed he wants to be a black President and now this.

My Gawd man, just take a week off.
Bask in your winning the nomination. Quietly talk to your former opponents. Calmly pick a running mate. You, contrary to media opinion, do not have to comment on everything.
Please, for one week, just shut up.
(Ok, you can do that "you're going, don't let the door hit you on the way out" thing. I like that.)

Congratulations

A friend of mine became an American citizen today.
Although I will miss all the perks that would have come from knowing the Prime Minister of Jamaica, I wish her a hearty welcome to the U.S. and the Democratic Party!

LET MIKE BENJAMIN RUN

I don't typically get involved in Republican politics. But reportedly, the New York State Republican Party officials have
"officially" endorsed a candidate and will not allow another Republican candidate, Michael Benjamin to run.

That doesn't seem sporting (Scott at Slantpoint has a better articulated stance on this than I) so if you care about how the Republicans go about choosing the man that will lose to Chuck Schumer, sign the petition.

ANOTHER NYU STUDENT DIES IN DEATH PLUNGE

I wrote about how crazy this was last year... seems like the madness continues.

It's Really Just An Honor to be Mentioned

Thanks to Kevin for his fab piece on women in the blogosphere!

Battle Royale

I always thought those King George II chants were just partisan hyperbole!
But, no, evidently the Prez' is directly descended from British royalty.

"Bush was more royal than Al Gore, his opponent four years ago, and also boasts a direct descent from Henry III and from Henry VIII's sister Mary Tudor, who was also the wife of Louis XI of France. He is also descended from Charles II of England.

Brooks-Baker said there has always been a significant "royalty factor" in those who aspired to the White House, with Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore and Franklin Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan among others all with strong blue blood links.

"The chance of winning certainly seems much higher with more royal connections and one could make a big case that royal genes or chromosomes will tell," Brooks-Baker said. "

According to the story, Kerry's blood may be even bluer than George's and that "According to a theory its British proponents say has proved surprisingly accurate over the past century, the candidate with the bluest blood in his veins will win the White House. In 2000 it was Bush. This time, it's Kerry. "

Of course, I don't think the "first black President" had bluer blood than George H. W. Bush, and he won the presidency twice.

Go figure.

HE MAY NOT BE AFRICAN AMERICAN, BUT HIS WIFE IS


Crosblog posts about the fall-out from John Kerry's new quest to be the "second black President."

For the record, Clinton's supposed to have been the first.

I'm still waiting on the paperwork.

LIZZIE FLUBMAN LANDS WEALTHY COUPLE IN JAIL


A DREAM trip to Hollywood for the Oscars turned into a nightmare for a New York couple who never received their promised tickets - and then ended up getting arrested as crashers.
Andy and Elizabeth Kowalczyk plan to sue Lizzie Grubman because her public relations firm failed to deliver the tickets it had promised to donate after the Kowalczyks bid $6,000 at a charity auction.

The Kowalczyks - who were repeatedly told there was no problem - flew out to Los Angeles. They were finally told to pick the tickets up at the "Will Call" window at the Kodak Theatre in Los Angeles. But there was no "Will Call" window.

The Kowalczyks ended up getting themselves arrested by security and missing the Academy Awards altogether as they spent five hours in custody. They still face charges of trespassing.

"What she [Grubman] did was horrible. She was totally bull[bleep]ing him. She never had the tickets," a friend of the couple told PAGE SIX.

Kowalczyk, who runs his own A.K. Capital brokerage firm, was the high bidder on the Oscar tickets at the June 5 benefit auction for Memorial Sloan-Kettering at Mickey Mantle's, where commercial real estate developer Jonathan Schultz was honored.

For months, Kowalczyk tried to get his hands on the tickets. Grubman's office gave him various stories, but always maintained there was no problem.

"Before they left for California, Andy told Grubman's staffer, Megan Burger, that he didn't feel secure going out to California without the tickets," a friend recalled. "She said, 'Don't worry, Lizzie will be escorting you in.' "

But at noon on the day of the awards, when Kowalczyk reached Grubman on her cell phone, she allegedly told him the tickets would be waiting for him and his wife at the theater - where they were subsequently arrested instead.

"It turned out no tickets were ever issued to Lizzie Grubman," the friend said, "and the tickets aren't transferable, in any case."

Grubman's lawyer, David Smith, said, "We have no comment at this time. We're looking into the matter."

The Kowalczyks' lawyer, Jack Gray, said, "My clients are embarrassed and humiliated by this whole thing. Papers are being drawn up as we speak."


Via Page Six, NYP

IN MEMORIAM



R.I.P ELDIN
(Murphy Brown)



R.I.P Mirror on the Wall
(The Charmings)

AND THEN THEY CAME FOR ME


I will admit that I am a selfish S.O.B.

I read Candace's heartbreak a couple of days ago. I thought, man, that sucks. But that was it. I mean, one poor girl's tale was my humourous post. Until that poor girl was me.

In much the same way that Candace received her message during VH1. I received mine during last night's Everybody Loves Raymond --- but I also have PVR with my Dish Network, so I fast forwarded the intrusive writing at the bottom of my television. Then this morning, in my now-daily hunt for more insight into the minds of the Martha jury, her company's strategies and her legal team's appeal hopes, I flipped from GMA to the Today Show to ... CEO of Dish Network?

For those of you who don't have the Dish, the remote control is a fairly cumbersome contraption with all sorts of booby trap-buttons that if you accidentally depress them will take you to some far away tutorial land where Dish network representatives teach you how to work the remote control.

I assumed I had entered that land. I pressed the #2 again. Still CEO guy. Now he was telling me to call CBS advertisers.
Evidently, Viacom did not renew Dish network's contract. Still I didn't panic. I was getting a dollar back on next month's bill and really I only watch CBS for Raymond... wait... and Survivor -- This blows, but with Sue and Rich off, I was still chilling.

Then, I flipped over to catch the Tuesday morning repeat of TRL... CEO guy... VH1? CEO guy! BET? CEO guy. Nickolodeon? CEO GUY! (Somebody think of the children!!!! I so don't envy Dish Network parents of talking toddlers.)
But then, then.... I scrolled down to Comedy Central and that's when I lost it.
C freaking EO guy.
Look Dish, this was mildly amusing when it was Candace's Vh1 shows we were talking about, but if I don't have the Daily Show with Jon Stewart by tomorrow to catch the results of tonight's primaries through Jon's eyes. We are going to rumble. You can take your stinking one dollar a month and shove it up that CEO guy's nether regions, because I want a full refund.
Or at the very least, turn on the other channels you offer (HBO, Showtime, Hallmark and Soap Opera Network) until you can give me every channel I pay for.
If I don't see Cartman and friends on Wednesday evening, wrecking bloody vengence on you and your company will be my raison d'etre until I am satisfied. You might want to talk to the good folks at Compaq, if you think I'm kidding.
So hear me now and believe me latah, Dish Network: I WANT MY MTV!
That is all.

TALE OF FOUR ROSES

He brought her two roses
She'll love them, he supposes
Held them near his sleeve
I'll give them to her before I leave

But in came her Rock, with two of his own
With a kiss on the lips, her gratitude shone,
He gave her his gift with a wave of his hand
She put them next to her bed, in the vase on the stand

The first suitor was crushed, the color drained from his face
He excused himself from the room, now suffocated by the space
He crushed the stems in his hand, until the thorns pierced his skin
He wrapped his palm with some gauze, knowing, her he could not win.

ODE TO KAROL


Last night I went to visit Karol in the hospital before her surgery this morning.

Ever the hostess, she was in high spirits as she offered food and beverage to the 20 or so visitors that stopped by just between 7 and 9. (There was a velvet rope outside the room with a bouncer and everything.)

I've known Karol a long time and last night I realized how implausible it was that she would be such a big part of my life 13 years after our inauspicious meeting.

(I have no recollection of this encounter, but she swears that we met on a school bus when I was in tenth grade and she was in ninth grade. Evidently, she introduced herself to me one day and asked if I had a walkman that she could listen to. I reportedly replied: "If I did, don't you think I would be listening to it?" Like I said, I have no recollection of it, but frankly, it sounds like something I would do. :-) )

Karol has taught me many things over the years and well, since it's been a while since I've given her any fodder for her "Dawn really does like me" blackmail book, I figured I'd post some of my favorite Karolisms.

1) Talk to strangers. That's how you make new friends.

2) There is a succint Russian phrase for every complicated English thought.
2a) I will never be able to correctly pronounce them.

3) Add vanilla to Coke and cheese to fries.
3a) Vanilla fries and cheese Coke are less successful combinations.

4) Always assume the best about people.
4a) If they prove you wrong, cut them off. (Hawking a loogie in their eye is also an option.)

5) Say 'I love you' even when you know you won't hear it back.

6) Anybody can 'get' anybody else. No one is out of anyone else's league.

7) If you have the money, spend it.

8) Be optimistic, but knock on wood and hold your breath while walking past cemeteries.

9) Remember everything.

10) Write it all down.

11) Elderly relatives aren't the only ones who painfully squeeze cheeks.

12) Every place in the world has its special charm, except France.

13) Live and love generously.

14) Blog.


Speedy Recovery Karolnischka.

SPALDING GRAY DEAD AT 62

Actor had small role in 'Beaches' before his apparent suicide.

SEARCHING FOR GEORGE W. BUSH


No one has come forward with information about G.W. from his Alabama National Guard days, but this guy remembers him from Harvard Business School!

One gem: "People are poor because they are lazy."

Via Intl-News

RETHINKING MARTHA

I always pause and think real hard before agreeing with the likes of Paul Gigot or Tucker Carlson.
Real hard.
But about Martha, they are right.
This case should never have gone to trial. She lied to the government, that's it. So what? (Parents of little children, cover their precious eyes.)
The prosecutors held a press conference heralding the restoration of faith in the system. Now the "little guy's" can invest with certainity that they are not going to lose their money in the market, said the media-whore juror who clamored to answer the press' questions.
Not so. In reality, Martha could have sold immediately after Peter called to tell her about the Waksals selling. She could have done it and (to borrow a line from a bad Ashley Judd movie -- is there another kind?) shouted the details of her sale from a New Orleans balcony in the middle of Mardi Gras and the Government couldn't touch her.
But Martha's not a lawyer and she didn't know that. So, she lied. She altered records, then lied about whether those records existed.
But the fact remains that she was free to sell that stock and the little guy's portfolio is not any safer because it turns out you're not free to lie about selling your stock when your broker tells you to.
When Paul Gigot said that this case was terrible because essentially it is a cautionary tale, the moral of which is, never never never talk to the authorities. He's right. If Martha had said nothing, maybe told them her lawyer's phone number. She'd be sittin' pretty in her Soho Loft right now. When Tucker commented that the case proves that the Government isn't always your friend. That Government can hurt you, I kinda felt bad for the guy. It took the downfall of one of his own to demonstrate what the many poor, minority people learn early on. Watch out for the fuzz.
But what now, even the people who hated Martha are shocked at this verdict.
(I used to be one of those people, but I was shocked when the case went to trial.)
They are shocked, but like teenagers who have taken a prank too far, they are helpless to put things right.
"We were just trying to scare her..."
The judge could do it. She's Martha's last chance.
"Woman to woman, please judge, let me go home to my arts and crafts, my double boilers and 700 thread count sheets. I've lost my voting privileges, my ability to sit on corporate boards, don't take my freedom."
However she phrases it, Martha needs to do some serious begging. The time for silent stoicism is long past.
She's proven to be a terrible liar, so maybe she'll do better with the truth.

KERRY FLIP FLOPS BUT....


BUSH IS ALWAYS WRONG.




Re-ELECT Bush: He's Consistent.


That totally seems to be the RNC's platform. Crazy.

MARTHA STEWART GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES

Domestic Diva found guilty of conspiring and covering up a non-crime. God Bless America.

"One juror interviewed after the verdict said: "This is a victory for the little guys....no one is above the law."

The juror, a man who declined to give his name, said Stewart's assistant, Anne Armstrong, and her friend, Marianna Pasternak, presented the strongest testimony.

He said the presence of celebrities in the courtroom who came to support Stewart, including Bill Cosby and Rosie O'Donnell, did not sway the jurors. "Not at all," he said.

Ouch.

FORGET ANGER MANAGEMENT!

Democrats should be angry (and should vote accordingly in November!)

Blogamy has a few good reasons.

WHY GMA IS BETTER THAN THE TODAY SHOW

One of Drudge's big stories today was that GMA beat the Today Show for the first time since the advent of the Diane Sawyer era.

It's a well-deserved victory.
I've watched the post-Sawyer GMA pretty-much since its inception, but I confess that during election years I switch back to the Today show because Tim Russert's political analysis (and the NBC political reporting, in general) is the best in TV. (Seriously folks, get rid of Stephanopolous and bring in Fareed (if he'll have you)!)
But when the political segments are done, the Today show features send me screaming in horror for my remote!
"Here, we are on location from Chicago, can you guess where in the world Matt Lauer is, we're ripping off every single reality competition show to find America's Bachelor a singing superstar to Intern on Al Roker's next cooking book."

Arrrrggghhh....

Two clicks and it's Robin Roberts with today's top headlines, hooray!

The bloop, bloop of 'Around the Watercooler,' the incessant giggling at Charlie Gibson making Diane Sawyer squirm because he wasn't invited to John Travolta's birthday party. Diane Sawyer waiting tables at a country club and getting critiqued by the staff!
Take that Ann " can't read the 30-second newscopy without making at least four mistakes" Curry.

The GMA on-camera crew just look like they are working harder and having more fun than 'America's First Family.'
I always feel badly for poor Lester Holt when he's filling in for Matt.
He's like the substitute teacher trying motivate a class of seniors who are convinced they know-it-all and just can't wait for Spring Break.
The GMA segments and features are quirky, inspired and well-done. (Who didn't cry when Robin got to fly in her father's footsteps during the Tuskeegee airmen segment. The "our first jobs" piece kicked the heck out of the Today show's "Taxi Cab driver for a day."
Although I wish they'd use Lara Spencer more, GMA is the place to be and as soon as the Election is over, I'll be back full time.

KINDA A SPOILER FOR LAST NIGHT'S ANGEL

OK, my complaint last week was that apparently, Joss, who penned the ditty "A Hole In The World," hadn't watched last season.

My complaint this week is that evidently none of the writers have seen any of the previous seasons. Dude, this whole Wesley/ Gunn thing?
Been there Done that!
In the role of "team member lost to betrayal" was Connor instead of Fred, the Betrayer was played by Wes instead of Gunn and the Avenger was of course, Angel instead of Wes.

WELCOME

Gib's Crosblog is new to the Honor Roll!

Always happy to support a fellow blogging lawyer!

MEMORY LANE

On the last case I worked on at ___LLP, I would spend hours with two junior associates in a bland conference room reviewing documents.

To pass the laborious hours of shifting papers from pile to pile to freaking pile, we would sometimes recount our favorite NY Post tabloid headlines.

I can't remember the best of those, but if I was there today, this one would certainly be ranked high on the list:

DIMWIT DECISION MAY BE LAST GASP OF A DOOMED DIVA

Ahh, the New York Post, does anybody say it better?

TRUMP, TRUMP BABY

I went out to dinner with three of my blogless friends last Friday. (The fact that they don't have blogs isn't relevant to the story, just an indication of how I divide the world now: the bloggers (including those who regularly read blogs) and the blogless (the hapless unwashed masses who will never know that I've called them unwashed!) )
We were catching up after not seeing one another for about six months -- which essentially means recapping recent months of television programming. The conversation quickly turned to 'The Apprentice.' (Omarosa is a bitch and Sam's annoying was the unanimous verdict.)
I commented that I thought the Donald was just using the 16 weeks of free, talented labor to jumpstart his less-than successful products. Take 'Trump Ice' for instance. Ostensibly, the Trump-branded bottle water is "one of the naturally purest spring waters." But watching the Apprentices hawking truckloads of the water bottles, with Trump's face plastered on the label, was a tad unsettling. We all agreed that we would never buy water with Trump on it. I want to see a stream or a waterfall, not a bad comb-over.
Anyway, I worked late last night and ordered take-out from a local Thai food joint (one of the perks about relocating from the financial district to the midtown, Times Square area is that the after-hour restaurant choices are more diverse than Burittoville, Texas BBQ and bad Japanese/Chinese fusion.)
Slob that I am, I didn't throw out the bags the meal came in until about an hour ago.
To my surprise, rolling around the bottom of the plastic bags was none other than Trump Ice!
As advertised on TV... on the label there's the Donald and some kind of haughty old time family crest that says 'Trump' alongside the slogan "The Difference Is Clear."

I took a swig. It tastes like tap water from one of those rat traps in Brooklyn the Apprentices had to remodel and rent out.

And now Donald's eyes seem to follow me around the office. Could this be some kind of cross-marketing attempt to control our minds... I do suddenly have the urge to go skating at Trump's Wollman rink and then partake of nine holes on his golf course... and Regis seems a lot cooler than he did this morning.

Stop looking at me, Trump. I'm on to you!

RANDOM THOUGHT # 14,457

If my head explodes, would I qualify for workman's compensation?



**************UPDATE*************

As it's clear that I have lost my mind, will that qualify me for workman's compensation?

THE DOCTOR IS IN!


Early results posted on CNN has the former Democratic frontrunner capturing his home state of Vermont!

The Dean campaign would not comment on whether this means that he'll jump back in the race for the White House.
"See, and everyone thought he was just going back to Vermont to lick his wounds after losing New Hampshire," said an unidentified supporter, adding "Who's got the Joe-mentum now, baby?"

Senator Joe Lieberman's camp could not be reached for an answer.

IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE... NO, IT'S SUPER TUESDAY!!!

I got up bright and early today to vote for my guy!! I feel sorry for Republicans and Independents this morning. Nobody to vote for...

'AFRICAN AMERICAN' IS NOT ALL BLACK AND WHITE

Rick has an interesting post about the meaning of African American on his site. Click here.

It's a conversation I have often had with a girl I knew in high school and one of my first "white" friends whose father was born in Eygpt.

My view has always been a simplistic, African-American means black means negro means colored. These terms aren't meant to be a literal description of a person, they serve as short-hand. Thus, I am African-American even though I was born in New York to Panamanian immigrants.

African-American is a race, not an ethnicity.

Surprising Turn of Events


Evidently John Kerry's Jewish and his wife is African-American.

Kerry: "The roots are surprising for a Massachusetts politician with an Irish name and Catholic upbringing. Kerry did not know the extent of his Jewish roots until a year ago when a genealogist in Vienna, hired by The Boston Globe, discovered that Kerry's paternal grandfather, Frederick Kerry, a converted Catholic, was actually born Fritz Kohn to Jewish parents in what was Austria-Hungary, now part of the Czech Republic. Kerry, 60, has known for about 16 years that his paternal grandmother was born Jewish as Ida Lowe and converted to Catholicism.

Sunday, the Vienna genealogist, Felix Gundacker, posted new findings on his Web site that the Nazis killed two of Ida Lowe's siblings -- a sister in the Treblinka concentration camp, and a brother in Theresienstadt, a Czechoslovakian ghetto that held Jews before they were taken to camps.

"I'm very touched by the knowledge that one of my relatives was in the Holocaust," Kerry said in an interview last night. "It gives an even greater personal sense of connection [to the Holocaust] that is very real and very touching. It makes you wonder how horrible their lives must have been."


Heinz:

"The Baltimore Sun reports:

Officially, she is an American citizen. "But my roots are African," she told a reporter in 1995. "The birds I remember, the fruits I ate, the trees I climbed, they're African."

Other times, she straddles the divide, calling herself "African American," as she did in 1993, touching off a storm of criticism. Her spokesman defended the reference, saying she used the term without a hyphen. "African-hyphen-American belongs to blacks," the spokesman said."



How's that going to play in Ohio?