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Saturday, December 31, 2005


Officer briefly interrupting his conversation with an inappropriately clothed for 30 degree weather chick speaking in a weird accent which Dawn likes to assume is Swedish:

"Ma'am, you can't come through here with a box."

Me, smiling sweetly and being totally respectful and polite as I carried my Christmas gift over to the party: Okay, but how far North do I have to go to be able to walk across to ninth.

Officer annoyed that I have once again interrupted his conversation with the Swede: No boxes through here.

Me, no longer smiling, but still respectful and polite: Yes, but how far North do I ---

Officer: NO BOXES

Me, no longer smiling, no longer respectful, no longer polite: Yeah, I got that. I speak English. And yes, even though I'm black, I actually live in this city and pay taxes (voice in head: Dawn don't say the 'which pays your salary' part) that pay your salary (voice in head: well, ok, you're mad and I guess we did send out the plea for bail money in advance, just don't call him any names.) Now, I don't understand why I have to become a complete bitch for you to answer my simple question, but I guess bitch is the only language an asshole understands. NOW, how far up does this blockade go?

Officer, now fully paying attention: Umm..you could try 57th, but they're not going to let you through.

Me: Thank You.

Officer and completely horrified Swede stare at me as I cross the street and promptly hail a cab to take me across Times Square.

Fucking brilliant impenetrable security system they have going there.


Here's the surest fire sign of a true New Yorker. Agreeing to attend a friend's gamenight in Midtown on New Year's Eve -- completely forgetting that there's this little matter of the entirety of Manhattan being shut down for some..."ball dropping."

Well...here's goes nothing. If no one hears from me in the next few days I am most certainly in jail for uttering the phrase "do I look like I'm trying to see some lightbulbs descend to a rooftop in 30 degree weather or do I look like I'm pissed cause I totally forgot about this stupid annoyance?" to one or more police officers.

Paypal bail money.

Thursday, December 29, 2005


[A] day after details of an agreement between the transit workers and the Metropolitan Transportation Authority were spelled out, Roger Toussaint, the union's president, seems to have emerged in a far better position than seemed likely just a few days ago.

Mr. Toussaint, whose back appeared to be against the wall last week, can boast of a tentative 37-month contract that meets most of his goals, including raises above the inflation rate and no concessions on pensions. Indeed, several fiscal and labor experts said yesterday that Mr. Toussaint and his union appeared to have bested the transit authority in their contract dispute.

Union wins.


It’s 4:52 A.M.
Why is Dawn, that is to say, me, still awake?
And I haven’t had time to do a long meandering post through my nonsensical life in quite some time, so please indulge me.
As has become the Dawn Summers last week of the year tradition, the past few days have been riddled with doctor’s appointments. You’ll be happy to know that I don’t need glasses and have perfect hearing.
Although, my ear doctor should really reconsider his choice of an audiologist who mumbles. After ten minutes of “what?” and “excuse me”-ing through her preliminary questionnaire, I was certain that I’d be immediately fitted for hearing aids at the end of the test.
Even the audiologist seemed a tad surprised when the results came back normal.
“Well,” she seemed to say with her raised eyebrows, “I guess you’re just retarded.”
(Of course, her sense of surprise paled in comparison to the desk clerk who wanted to know if the “attorney” entry under occupation was correct.
Hard stare. Glance back to clipboard.
“What kind of attorney are you?”
“Corporate litigator.”
Stare. Glance.
“Is that the same as a regular lawyer?”
“No. We’re the super lawyers. I can sue you, garnish your wages and repossess your house with a single flick of my pen.”
“Alright. Have a seat.” Her face silently added an “I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”
Lucky me it was “kid’s day” at the doctor’s office.
One boy, whose name I deduced was “Ryan Stop That!” made great sport out of covering the carpet in the doctor’s office with magazines.
“No, Ryan Stop That, magazines are to read, not play.” his mother cried, running after him picking up magazines.
Ryan Stop That then decided he wanted to color. And see, this is why it’s awesome to be a toddler, he promptly walked over to the runny nose girl coloring in the corner and snatched the crayon out of her hand and set about coloring the wall.
“Ryan Stop That, you have your own crayons at home!”
Duh. Crayons at home do not equal coloring at the doctor’s office.
And then – he wanted to play cars…oh you wacky Ryan Stop That and your wacky antics, you wouldn’t have lasted a single day under the Joyce Summers regime.
Afterwards, I decided to tie up loose ends with “You’ll Hate It and want to slit your wrists at Levitz.”
1. They still haven’t delivered the coffee table I purchased in AUGUST.
2. They never credited me back the money I paid for tax and delivery on a recliner that they no longer had in stock.
After confirming that – for the ninth time in five months -- my table would definitely be ready in two weeks – I was then informed that Levitz could not refund any money due to bankruptcy.
“Well, you can fill out this form to file a claim in the bankruptcy case…” and no, you don’t have to clerk for a bankruptcy judge in the bankruptcy capital of world to hear the snickering in his voice as he slid the paperwork across the counter to me.
“---Or…you can purchase something else here for that amount.”
Which, of course, I promptly did…except for it was slightly – and by slightly, I mean, immensely, more than the seventy dollar credit I was owed.
But it’s cool; I got deferred billing on the thousand dollar leather chair and ottoman, so who’s the sucker now.
Never mind. Point is I got my seventy dollars back. Sort of.
Shut up.
You know, looking back on that thousand dollar for seventy deal I made – I probably should have taken that as a sign *not* to drive down to Atlantic City for the night…but I didn’t.
And an hour later, Alceste and I were on the Turnpike making what has become an all too familiar run.
It was time for some serious soul searching.
“Are we insane?”
“Good…Just checking.”
Nothing like validation from the other inmates in the asylum to set a mind at ease.
Without F “Borgata has the juiciest action” –Train to lead us astray, we actually played at the Tropicana. Ahhh…the Tropicana, aka Dawn Summers ATM without the card.
Even before I really knew what the heck I was doing, I could win at poker in the Tropicana.
But, that was then.
You ever have one of those nights?
(And yeah, we’ve managed to meander ourselves right into a poker post…)
You know the ones?
Pocket Aces, Pocket Kings, Pocket Jacks, Pocket Nines, Pocket Sevens, Pocket Eights, and Pocket Threes!
Only to have each one in succession taken out in one unimaginably horrifying way, until the ATM machine without the card becomes a damp, rat infested sink hole with no end?
Yeah that was my night.
I get five callers on my raise with red AA UTG.
The flop comes Kc7c9s – all black.
I raise the first bet, four callers.
The turn is the 4c.
I simply call, with that sickening feeling in my stomach.
Three people see the river which is the Ks.
I call a raise, but want to throw up.
Of course, the SB had A6c for the nut flush and the jackass in third position had K7 OFF for the full house.
After having turned over the losing jacks two hands previously, the whole table sympathetically shook their heads with me as that jackass took all the chips.
I went pretty much card dead after that and started playing garbage hands, under the theory that poker karma should let me win with k7o or j9o or 57s since I had lost so much with quality hands.
Yeah, not so much with the poker karma.
Alceste was at a different table, but with similar results, and about an hour after my cracked aces, he came over to say he’d had enough and was ready to go home.
But….but…the…karma…and…the…poker…I couldn’t leave Trop down?!!!! I had to win it back. He agreed to let me play around till my next blind.
OK…poker…karma…let’s go!
A9o. Missed the flop completely.
KJo. Strike two.
I smooth call on the button.
The small blind raises.
Big blind calls.
So do all the other seven people in between. Yikes.
I reraise.
SB caps.
Ultimately seven people see the flop: A 4 4.
I call the bet.
The turn is a harmless deuce.
I call a raise from the BB, SB folds and it’s just the two of us to the river: J
BB bets, I call.
I turn over my Kings.
He turns over 24. HE CALLED FOUR BETS PRE FLOP WITH A DEUCE AND A FOUR. (And as I said to Alceste on the drive back, the first person who asks if they were suited is getting punched in the face.)
And that’s all she wrote folks. I left Tropicana DOWN for the first time in my life and don’t know if I’m ever going back.
In fact, no more AC for the rest of the year.
Damn donkeys.
The drive back was a rather somber experience of fist shaking, swearing and “accidentally” changing songs on Alceste’s ipod.
“Oops, my bad --- did the Jesus and Mary Experience go away? Crazy potholes.”
Given my repeated idiotic posts mocking the idea that the East Coco Beach has become all gentrified, Alceste was too scared to take me back to my mom’s house, so we made the run through the Lincoln Tunnel up to Whiteyville.
At 3 in the morning, the streets were pretty much empty, so I was surprised that Alceste stopped at the yellow turning light, rather than making the turn through the park.
“Duuude….make the light!! You’re worse than I am,” said the girl that has prompted more than one passenger to utter the phrase “Dawn, you either drive through the yellow light or I kill you.”
“No way, man” Alceste protested, “I’m not risking my baby,” he said patting his dashboard lovingly.
“Well, no…my second baby,” he added so abruptly I was certain this was about to be a sickeningly sweet “my girlfriend is my first baby” moment.
But no.
“Cause my TV is my first baby.”
Take that Dawn 2!
We made it back to Whiteyville in record time, I piled out of the car --- too many dollars poorer, but one Christmas present richer (that’s right Trop, I’ll see you after I finish my Supersystem 2! Thanks Alceste and Dawn 2!). Four days in the ECB – with its food and elevator, ill prepared me for the long walk up to my fourth floor apartment.
But as I settled in, it was good to be home, in my own bed , watching the many WPT events that I’d DVRd in the past four days…but I couldn’t sleep.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw fours full of twos.
So to the computer I went, blog surf, check emails, maybe blog…It was there I found an email from Ari saying that Amazon (which has been sooo disappointing this holiday season…actually, I say that, but the truth is, Amazon totally delivered the stuff, it was the recipients of the stuff and their non leaving their apartment for eighteen days who just never bothered to pick the stuff up…) claimed it already delivered my X-mas present, even though I hadn’t gotten yet.
Still pissed about my 0/15 pocket pairs winning streak, I decided what better way to spend my insomnia than yelling at Amazon customer service.
However, I am happy to report that no violence or threats thereof were necessary to get the very agreeable woman in Delhi to say that Amazon would resend me the Chappelle Show Season 1 DVDs! Woo hoo…
So, all in all, today has been way a win-loss-win-loss-win day for Dawn.
I’m Dawn Summers, bitch.

Monday, December 26, 2005


Still sleepy. Very, very sleepy. But now that Karol has shamed me with the blogging from international waters, I figured I'd wish all of y'all Happy Holidays.

Thanks in particular to Esther, Jake, pearatty and Ari for their lovely gifts, thanks too to everyone who sent cards. During my administration, you will enjoy untold privileges.

Saturday, December 24, 2005


Like, really, really scary.


Stupid MTA.

Friday, December 23, 2005


A man was jailed for more than a year without seeing a lawyer as he waited for a repeatedly postponed court hearing, gaining release only after a cellmate told an attorney about the case.

Man forgotten in jail.




President Bush has authorized a reduction in U.S. combat troops in Iraq, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said Friday, talking before troops at Camp Falluja, Iraq.

I'm thinking of a phrase...rhymes with mut and mun.


So, what will be the first Law&Order about the strike? Will it be an episode about a guy that tries to cross the picket lines being found dead or an SVU about a young college coed who got in a stranger's car to go to her job in Brooklyn, turning up dead?

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Pink Cadillacs and other things I saw, learned or imagined during the Strike of ‘05

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd
-Vanessa Carlton

Two teenage girls taking turns pushing each other downtown in a wheelchair.

Two businessmen trying to pay a horse-drawn carriage to take them uptown.

A taxi refusing to pick up a well dressed white woman on Park Avenue.

A man in a businesssuit handing his doorman the bag of his dog’s poop.

A pink Cadillac squeaking and billowing smoke as it crawled across Seventh Avenue.

A middle-aged woman in heels riding a scooter in Midtown.

Two car drivers fighting over who got to take a guy across the Queensboro bridge, only to have the guy decide to walk.

A monument to sled dogs smack in the middle of Central Park

The prettiest public Christmas tree I ever saw

Two women on the Upper East Side, who hadn’t left their apartments all day, congratulating each other on how resilient they are.

That guy who claimed he would walk 500 miles and then 500 more, never had to walk two miles to and from work.

Turns out, First Avenue runs uphill from both the North and South.

Ari’s mom hoping to get grandchildren out of the strike.

Jessica berating herself for not having cojones after folding to a reraise from Karol

Dawn’s theorem of distance walking, which is something like every subsequent block taking twice as long as the block before it to finish.

A woman grabbing a pretzel off a cart to throw at a car that just cut her off -- and then giving the vendor two dollars for it.

I will not walk a thousand miles just to see you tonight.


To be able to just walk around the neighborhood is my secret revenge on all those forces and policies that tried to erase me. A secret revenge too, on the privileged who grew up safely in healthy streets like those of the Upper East Side, who felt so intelligent reading Balzac and Dickens, not caring that those same stories were happening in their neglected backyards. Their visions of the city are always of a magical place, where you see Sarah Jessica Parker eating in a chic restaurant, where there is always jazz playing, just as in a Woody Allen movie. I, too, have seen those visions. I, too, believe in that glorious New York City.

My greatest romance has always been with the city's streets, but I have also witnessed and lived through its horrors. The burning of the ghettos is a chapter of New York history that has not been fully told. Those who are profiting in today's age of gentrification, renaming my neighborhood SpaHa, would like to forget the burning of the ghettos. And so the African proverb still holds true: "Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunters." But as a cub, I was there, saw it and lived it. And so I will fill the empty spaces with stories of a people who persevered through winters and snow during a time when the city was on fire.

Read the whole thing.


Me: What do you want for Christmas?
Mom: A million dollars.
Mom: Hmm. So who is going to drive the getaway car?


Who needs unions, when you've got lawyers.

The world's largest retailer was ordered to pay $57 million in general damages and $150 million in punitive damages to about 116,000 current and former California employees for violating a 2001 state law that requires employers to give 30-minute, unpaid lunch breaks to employees who work at least six hours.
The class-action lawsuit in Alameda County Superior Court is one of about 40 nationwide alleging workplace violations by Wal-Mart, and the first to go to trial. The Bentonville, Arkansas-based retailer, which earned $10 billion last year, settled a similar lawsuit in Colorado for $50 million.


Thirty-five percent of white residents blame the union over the MTA, while only 12 percent of African-Africans and 17 percent of Latinos do.


MTA orders workers back immediately.


They are then put to sleep next to Elizabeth's own favorite stuffed animals, Blue Teddy, a bear, and Lovey, a lamb.
Twice a day, they are fed a gourmet mixture of paper clips, Snapple bottle caps, miniature plastic hamburgers and invisible food from a domino case.
"A lot of people have a special doll," Elizabeth explained, noting, like a true concierge, that she "would love them as much as I love my other dolls."

What next? Invisible plastic surgery?


The problem with beating someone with a lead pipe for calling you a thug, is that, well... it would sorta prove their point.


Wednesday, December 21, 2005


Karol: Cause you know the best way to get over someone Dawn?
Dawn: Run them over with your car.
Karol: Get under someone else.

Tonight I had dinner with six twenty/thirty (yikes) year old young professionals. They were all violently against the striking workers. In order:
1. They should have waited till after the holidays, the cops went two years without a contract.
2. We should just fire all their asses
3. Why should they get a pension for the rest of their lives
4. A fucking trained monkey could do their jobs
5. They are overpaid lazy asses.
I disengaged somewhere in the middle of three. I was in Whiteyville…what’re ya gonna do.
But as I walked home, I wondered how otherwise bright, kind, educated people (read: I still have need these people to play poker) could be so recklessly foolhardy (read: gentler thesaurus suggestion for idiotic due to the previous “read.”)
As for point one, you either work without a contract or you don’t.
For TWU 100 to say ‘eh, this sucks – we reject this offer…but fuck it, it’s Christmas,” would be bullshit.
The kind of bullshit that leads to our teachers working for three years without a new contract. Ditto for police officers.
Everyone knew this contract was up right before Christmas. The MTA agreed to the date two years ago. The MTA was also keenly aware that it was the holiday season. Just last month they announced a city-wide Holiday Bonus for commuters. Extra days on your December Metrocard. But they didn’t bother to start negotiating in good faith with the union until two nights ago?
Karol mentioned that nobody likes the MTA, but I certainly don’t understand why no one is wondering why that braintrust spent lord knows how many man hours figuring out the Metrocard bonus structure for commuters --- but didn’t think to themselves…maybe we should also start hammering out a contract so that these schmancy extended Metrocards won’t just lie idle on Dawn’s dining room table as she walks two miles to work because of a strike.
I was also amazed at how “pro-law” these young professionals had *suddenly* become as they cried out “this is ILLEGAL!!!” Yeah, and the union will face the consequences: To the tune of a million dollars a day.
But I also remember the firefighters who are still fighting with the city for a new contract – the look of desperation in the Union President’s face as he reminded everyone that the firefighters asking for a contract were the same firefighters that everyone wanted to bronze in statues after September 11th. “I thought we were heroes in the city.”
Well, turns out, that’s only when they’re not asking for new equipment, radios that work or pay raises.
And because of the Taylor law, Bloomberg pretty much knows there isn't a damn thing the firefighters union can do about it.
They could accept the city’s offer or work without a contract.
And the look in that man’s eyes betrayed that helplessness. But unless you’re willing to help yourselves, there’s nothing anyone else can do for you.
The other theme repeated ad nauseum was the “off with their heads” mantra.
Does anyone even pause to consider the havoc 30 THOUSAND suddenly unemployed people would have on the NYC economy? Sure, seems all the right wingers are waxing nostalgic for Reagan's air traffic controllers massacre (which after finding out they actually endorsed Reagan over Carter in the 1980 election, makes me feel a lot less angry about it…something about laying with dogs and getting fleas…) – but that was less than 12,000 spread across the fifty states and U.S. territories – not concentrated in one city.
Nor do they seem to figure on the legal liabilities of running the subway and bus system with newly trained, never tested workers. Have you seem the avenue-long buses that riddle Manhattan streets making right turns? Or what happens when a motorman overshoots/undershoots a platform during rush hour?
Or God forbid worse.
Yes, please God I want my tax dollars spent on satisfying lawsuits and increased costs of 30 thousand unemployed workers and their families.
Where are all the “if the working people get more money in their pockets, they will spend more and grow our economy” people when it comes to contract negotiations?
Crickets, I hear?
These people pay taxes, buy movie tickets, clothes, etc. I personally think the money is better off in their hands, than in the hands of the organization that said a minor track fire would result in a major subway station being closed for six years.
As for the pension issue – no, I don’t get a pension, most of my friend’s won’t get pensions – but the private sector also usually pays enough for employees to save in retirement plans or in savings accounts. City employees are notoriously underpaid – almost precisely for this reason.
Look, the city says, we’re not going anywhere. NYC isn’t going to declare bankruptcy, close its doors and let you all go. We aren’t going to be taken over by Boston and have to downsize the New Yorkers as part of business streamlining.
So, trust us. We’ll pay you just about enough to live on, but don’t worry about having no savings, we’ll still pay you some portion of your salary in your old age and we’ll take care of your health insurance costs.
What’s the alternative? These folks make crap and when they leave the MTA and have nothing – they rely on Social Security --- oh, wait…
Why do they even have a contract, one of the girl’s at the dinner asked me? Well, I’d guess for the same reason that the Taylor law forbids striking by public employees – it’s in the public interest to have motormen, teachers, and policemen with experience. Not young kids right out of college looking for something to do while they study for the LSAT.
Without some semblance of decent benefits (in place of decent pay for the most part) and job security, why wouldn’t cops just walk the beat for a year and then go work for Sloman Shield? In fact, we’d spend millions on training at the Police Academy, only to have these guys ditch it for PI or security guard work. The private sector might even require that one year on the force knowing that then the city does all their training for them.
I don’t have a contract – and as someone that’s had four jobs in five years, each one paying more than the last one, I can’t begin to tell you the lost cost of training me to all of my previous employers.
Another girl commented that it’s disgusting the way the union workers seem to be clinging to this shit job for fifty years – maybe, but just as I don’t want a medical resident doing my brain surgery --- I don’t want a 17-year-old being responsible for repairing the brakes on the subway car.
I don’t need some 20-year-old that is “so outta there” once he sells his screenplay, responsible for my safety when I’m standing on the deserted Prospect Park platform at night.
And I don’t know what a trained monkey is going to do for you if you collapse in the station or you are separated from your child taking them on the subway to see the Statue of Liberty for the first time.
No these people probably aren’t our most educated or brightest and sure some of them have been downright rude and unprofessional (and by the way, I have reported all such instances, as should everyone else) but without something that makes them do this job long enough to be good at it even after ten hours on a shift, our subways and roadways will be less safe.
And of course, the flipside is also true – if the MTA is allowed to increase retirement age to 62, 65, 70 – you’ll have certain senior citizens, who are no longer up to the long hours or the quick decisions that need to be made on the tracks, hanging on just to make that magic age. No one wants that.
I don’t know if the Union workers are “overpaid.” From everything I’ve seen, similarly employed workers on Metro North, LIRR, NJ Transit and Amtrak all earn more money than MTA workers. But as F-train, so astutely pointed out “I’m not an economic major.”
And yes, I’ll be getting that emblazoned on shirts and hats.
But, I do know what it’s like for a family of two to live in NYC on a salary of $19,000
a year. And all the talk about “average salaries” never mention how many are being supported on that salary. I also know that in an emergency I couldn’t drive either the bus or the subway – ok, maybe the bus, but only if Keanu was on board.
Token clerks now stand all day – are responsible for cleaning the platforms, handling emergencies, retrieving things that fall on the tracks, maintaining machines and turnstiles all underground with the constant roar of trains registering at hearing loss causing levels.
But, hey, I’m no economist, so I won’t speculate on how much one’s hearing, back and podiatric health is worth.
I don’t know why tonight’s discussion was so depressing; maybe it’s because I know these workers have gone on strike at great risk and personal sacrifice. Yeah, it sucks that we have to walk to work or that schools start late and people need babysitters and cab costs triple – but these workers are not only not getting paid for each day they are out, they paying the MTA a day’s salary for each day they are out. Their Christmas holiday will be tense days of uncertainty and worry as the credit card bills for their kids’ toys start appearing in the mailboxes.
The rent is coming due in a week or so.
The new semester of college needs to be paid in a month.
Those that wish bankruptcy on the union, are also consequently hoping that the landlord of the building they lease won’t get the rent – that the union scholarships and employees (non TWU union workers) will go unfulfilled or be let go.
With every word against the union, they curse practically every other facet of the city.
They are sadly short-sighted and myopic.
But whatever, as long as I still get to take their money on poker nights, they aren’t so bad.


kaz: i saw david duchovny over lunch
Kaz: he was at the next table
Dawn: with Tea?
kaz: no, i think he was drinking something alcoholic
Dawn: TAY AH
kaz: but
kaz: we were at gobo
kaz: and tea is something of a special there

Tuesday, December 20, 2005



I mean, sure income redistribution is all fine and good, but why thirty dollars at a time to high powered attorneys?


Help them.


The whole point of a strike is that I'm supposed to be watching my Netflix DVDs and napping. Errr...in solidarity!


I was seven when I walked my first picket line. I took the day off from camp and held up a sign that said “No contract, No work.” I was missing my two front teeth. To this day, I assume that’s why the Channel 7 reporter decided to interview me for the six o’clock news.
“My mommy needs more money,” was my response to whatever question she asked.
Awww, who’s the most adorable kid you ever did read posts about?
In college, I caused my newspaper’s editor-in-chief to have a coronary when he saw a picture of his Editorials Editor walking the picket line with the Yale dining hall workers.
I look good in cardboard placard.
So, you can say I’ve had a lifelong appreciation and support for our nation’s unions.
Obviously, I am no fan of the history of violence and racism that characterized unions in the early half of the 1900s, but today’s unions are really last sentries for our working poor.
Politicians dote on the middle class, companies dote on the bottom line and the workers – the ones who make our cities and businesses work – are left out in the cold.
The MTA, which, as Robert George points out, announced a billion dollars in surplus this year – asked the union to accept less than 3%, plus contributions to healthcare which would eat up that meager raise, PLUS a ridiculous SEVEN year age increase before retirement.
It was only after the Local balked --- starting a partial strike yesterday – did they drop that preposterous request. However, they still refuse to go higher than a one-time only four percent pay increase and STILL demand that 6% be paid by new workers into the pension. I don’t have to be a math major to know that a four percent pay increase minus a six percent deduction is not a number that will buy clothes for workers children or put food on their family table.
In announcing the strike early this morning, President Toussaint said “this is your fight too.”
And he’s right.
In the run up to the strike, I read a bunch of posts and articles complaining that rookie police officers only earn 20,000 a year, so who are the transit workers to demand more?
Well, how do you think cops ended up earning so little? Their union---handcuffed by the restraints of the Taylor law---ended up selling out benefits for their “unborn members” in favor of current members and retiree benefits.
And now we have these courageous men and women who protect our streets getting paid less than a NYC gardener in the first year. It’s outrageous. But it happens because unions are mere shadows of their former selves. Imagine a union agreeing to pay cuts and eliminating benefits, just so their workers will any job at all.
These people are the lifeblood of our country --- if Mayor Bloomberg is to be believed, these people will cost the city $400 million dollars. Imagine it. 400 MILLION. And yet, the agency that boasted a BILLION dollar SURPLUS, can’t give its worker a less than thousand dollar A YEAR raise?
And they want whatever raise they do give to basically go back to them to pay for pension costs?
If this union – the same one that sucked up ZERO percent increases last contract around because the MTA was drowning in debt --- if this union accepted these demands in today’s economy, they should pack up their offices, refund the dues and resign in shame.
The MTA is a virtual monopoly, there isn’t an alternative place to work if you are a NYC bus driver or subway conductor – they are the only game in town. And the Taylor law, the mayor’s disgusting “cowardly comment” and the Governor’s decision to excoriate the union, rather than the MTA board that he appoints has emboldened the MTA to essentially flip the bird to its workers and invite them to sit upon the out stretched middle finger.
Alone those workers wouldn’t stand a chance against that kind of power and pressure.
Good thing they’ve got the union.


Michelle Rodriguez is craaaaazy.

KITV quoted court and police documents that said Rodriguez was "very argumentative" and kept interrupting the officer who was explaining drunk driving sanctions to her.

"I don't (expletive) belong here! Why don't you just put a gun to my head and shoot me! You've already taken my freedom! You might as well take my life too!" she said, KITV reported Friday.


Is Purple!

Monday, December 19, 2005


Last day for standard shipping.


If you find yourself writing an e-mail to a client that starts with the words:

"First of all, chill out a little."


*Does not constitute advice

via Gib


To tell the President to cram his piehole on Sunday nights.


Laci Peterson's mom gets dead daughter's life insurance money.


The venerable judge, his watery eyes spanning the congregation of smartly-suited overpaid young law firm initiates perched before him with their eyes fixed on miniscule computer screens, spoke of these days with palpable pride.

He then halted, stared at us for a moment, and launched into a diatribe about the quite different state of the modern legal field.

Monolith firms, emphasis on number of hours billed rather than practical experience received, the watering down of constructive training to a state of near-nonexistence, the commoditization of young attorneys as billing machines and the emphasis of partnership on bringing in business rather than mastering the profession, he covered it all with vehemence that bordered on anger.

Once the ceremony was over, and I sat munching on my celebretory burger and chocolate shake, I couldn't forget his final words. "You should never be without pride in your practice of this distinguished profession." I wish I could say I had followed his advice.



I am going to be the bossy, unreasonable, inflexible one.


Weezer singer extends his celibacy vow.

"Abstinence doesn't require as much self-discipline anymore," he says. "We never had any serious groupies, anyway. Our generation got screwed."


I don't really think I'd like pomegranate liqueur anyhow.

via Ace


So...we'll consider this a win.



And you thought it was because the President was on a month-long vacation and didn't have time to read the PDB titled 'Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside United States.'


And the shows left to pick up the pieces.

The challenge now facing the "West Wing's" creative team recalls the situation producers of "The Sopranos" dealt with in 2000 following the death of Nancy Marchand, who played the pivotal role of villainous mob matriarch Livia Soprano. To wrap up her story line, "Sopranos" producers used old pieces of dialogue and CGI techniques to briefly insert Marchand's face on a body double.

In late December 2004, "Law & Order" veteran Jerry Orbach died shortly before the premiere of the NBC spinoff "Law & Order: Trial by Jury." Producers and the network decided to air the episodes in which Orbach was featured, though the show ultimately proved short-lived.

Actor John Ritter died in September 2003 on the eve of the sophomore-season debut of his promising ABC comedy "8 Simple Rules." Producers decided to reflect real life by writing the lead character's shocking death into the story line. "8 Simple Rules" continued for two more seasons but never regained the ratings momentum it lost along with its star.

Those selfish bastards. You'd think that with the salaries that networks pay out, actors would have the decency not to die until the show's finished up the season.


Annie Duke, reportedly, has a saying about poker which goes something like: "if you don't get your hand caught in the cookie jar once in a while, you're not playing the game right."

Well, turns out F-train is from the younger, hipper, in-your-face-if-you-still-have-your-self-esteem-you'll-never-learn school of poker, which mostly goes something like: "Is Dawn doing that stupid thing where she goes all-in with pocket aces?"

And the answer of course, is yes.

And I'd do it again. Especially seeing as how I managed to play decent poker for the whole night, outlasting six players to make it to the final three -- only to end up bubble girl when I made a standard raise on the button with pocket queens and the big blind came over the top, all-in, with an A6 OFF.


I call in a shot and he flops an ace.

I'm not bitter. Should have just gone all-in pre-flop...oh, but then I'd just be playing results based poker and F-train makes people eat cards, without so much as a glass of water, for much less.

But despite my bitter end, it was a good night.

Attendance reached levels that may well warrant the "Dawn poker game" getting an actual fancy name --- leave suggestions in the comment section.

Although, F-train has vowed never to return to my apartment in "whiteyville" unless Ugarte is there to drive him back to his own "off-white"yville in North Brooklyn.

Which I wouldn't mind, since it'd be cool to get him and Zinester back to the table...does anyone know of a good online Jew School -- again, leave suggestions in the comment section.

Also, my friend Secret was in from Colorado (totally different from the secret friends I had all through junior high, in that, while she doesn't like me telling people that we're friends in public, she won't knock my books in the mud for doing so --- things are looking up for Dawn!)

Ari also showed up a few minutes after we started playing the tournament.
"Oh no...is this the thing we played at Karol's house that time? I hate that."

"It's just like a regular game...just pretend the chips are money."

"How can they be money, when I've got TWO 500 chips and there isn't even 500 dollars in the pot?"

"Well...except for that part..."

As she pouted and glared in my general direction, she announced to the table: "Just so everyone knows, I won't be raising because I have no idea what's going on...but don't assume I don't have anything, it's just incompetence."

Dawn 2 also accompanied Alceste to the game and she and Kaz played Scrabble on the other side of the apartment.

"They're playing for way higher stakes," Alceste commented as I looked longingly at the lettered tiles lining the racks.

At some point during the evening, I heard one of them ask for cheating assistance...I was in the middle of a hand, so I couldn't help out.

But, for the record, NOBODY, is better than I at cheating in Scrabble. NOBODY.

But back to poker...

The first crazy hand happened between the two newcomers at the game.

The first guy raises to 500 -- everyone folds around to the Big Blind, who is in for 25.

Big Blind says, I call.

The flop comes out 8 3 5.

The original raiser says "All-in"

The BB calls.

Original raiser turns over pocket sixes.

Oh, imagine the gasps of horror when the BB flips 85c.

Later, that same guy, who was thereafter known at 85suited, called F-train's all-in with pocket Queens.

F-train turned over Big Slick and never improved.

As he went to count out chips for his rebuy, I heard him mutter -- in the best non-televised Phil Hellmuth that I ever did see -- "What if I had aces there?" And then snorted.

He lost another big pot when Ari flopped a set of aces.

Speaking of which -- Ari totally rated the degree all-in moment of the night when 85suited (who, incidentally, is the guy with the A6 that inexplicably pushed all-in against my queens in my final hand...still.not.bitter.) put her all-in and she turned over A6, which, with the two sixes on the board, gave her trip sixes against his open ended straight draw.

He made the straight on the turn and it looked like it was allover. F-train shrugs his shoulders and says "well, you need a full house."

He burns the top card and flips the river: A MIRACLE FIVE to complete Ari's boat.

As the Rounders Russian says "Give her all the monies."

Of course, Miss "I don't understand this game" took a dominant lead and won the tournament.

Afterwards, Ari, Kaz, Secret, F-train and I sat around remincising about the mating rituals of the junior high school set.

I won't say who, but one of us, let's call her Schmari, for these purposes, has a very funny story about being introduced to the *69 function when a boy she'd just hung up on, called back asking if someone from that number had just called him.

Her mother answered the phone.

"I don't know, I didn't call you -- but maybe it was one of the kids. ARI, did you just make a phone call to this boy?" (Oops, I mean, Schmari.)

I think that began the home schooling years.

After Ari left, Secret and Kaz had a Dance Dance Revolution dance off -- confirming to my downstairs neighbors who have never seen me, that yes, someone did move into the apartment upstairs.

Someone with amazing rhythm and sense of timing.

And since I have never been shy about taking credit for Kaz' handi-work, I will simply say, Why, thank you, yes I do.


Unless the country has been attacked or your dumbass has been impeached, you DO NOT interrupt Sunday night television for a presidential address.

Sunday, December 18, 2005


So, you know how when you try to pour hot bacon grease into the trash can and you burn your hand on the frying pan handle, causing the frying pan to fall into the garbage, melting the plastic garbage bag all over the bottom?

Well, you're not alone.


Everybody hates reruns. Sure. But if you're gonna show reruns, why not make them reruns that people can't buy on DVD. Why not, say, make them reruns of shows people may have missed from earlier in the current Season.



Mr. Urquilla said he was fired after he complained to superiors. Months later, William F. Weld, then Decker's chief executive officer, who is now seeking the Republican nomination for governor of New York, signed a severance agreement with Mr. Urquilla. Its terms required him to keep quiet about the school, which offered courses in carpentry, electrical work and other trades, but he considers the agreement breached.

Mr. Urquilla, along with several other former Decker officials, have come forward to describe practices during Mr. Weld's 10-month tenure as chief executive that they say they considered improper and possibly illegal. The school closed in October.

Weld '06

Friday, December 16, 2005


Leo McGarry is dead. Well, the actor who played him.


Ashlee collapses after concert.


City to remove Arnold's name from stadium due to his refusal to stop Tookie execution.

Graz deputy mayor Walter Ferk said: said: 'It is annoying that we are being criticised because of Schwarzenegger's actions in California.

'It is not exactly admirable for us to be connected with the death penalty. Therefore, I am in favour of renaming the stadium.'


I didn't come in last in the Weblog Awards. And I was about to write something really snarky about the blog that did.

But then I clicked the link and found the sweetest, most gracious, humble post about coming in last.

For shame, Dawn. Tsk, tsk... you're getting as bad as F-train.

Ok...but can I mock Ezra for placing behind me?

Thursday, December 15, 2005


Well, at least my game this Sunday won't be inconvenienced.

Better go to sleep since it looks like I can't call in "strike" tomorrow.


"Pair of 8s," he said, flipping over T-8.
"Pair of 8s, better kicker," I replied, and the massive pot was mine.

The Swedish guy sitting next to me was dumbfounded. "How could you call that? I just don't see how you could call that."

"That's why I'm stacking his chips and you're not," I replied.

Ah, that F-train, what an asshole. :-)


Hello? Anybody there?


Randal Dick wins.


Pardon me while I go wash my eyes out with soap.


Bloomberg urged city residents and commuters to have individual contingency plans in place by Thursday night, telling them to "be inventive" and "make do with the hand we hope we won't be dealt."

He suggested telecommuting, walking, biking and staying with friends in the city.

What? He's trying to stuff three strangers into my car, it's only fair.


Click click click


I need a definition of the phrase "reasonable effort to get to work" that includes my waking up, finding out there's a transit strike and going back to bed.


Yes, Blood for oil!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


Christmas Naughty or Nice List

I am on the The Nice List

After checking the North Pole database I had :

1,971 nice entries
384 naughty entries
Check your name on the Christmas Naughty or Nice List at JokesUnlimited.com

Good thing I have a wish list.

via BOM


Click click click


A guy seated in the two-seat at HDouble's table looked up at me with a twinkle in his eye at the mention of the word 'roshambo'. "I'll roshambo you for $30," he said. Uhhhh, huh? Did some random dude just offer to roshambo me for $30?

I took a long look at him. He was pretty well-groomed, dressed in a crisp dark blue shirt that immediately suggested he had way more style than me (not hard). Something about him seemed mildly familiar, but I was sure I had never met him. The idea of roshambo'ing a total stranger for $30 wasn't at all appealing to me. Blogger? Most definitely. Stranger? No thanks. Especially one who seemed far too eager to do it.

I have trained my whole life for a television celebrity to engage me. But no.

We hate F-train and everything he stands for.


Ana Lucia won't survive the Season. Michelle Rodriguez is so gonna be in jail soon.


You know, probably the best thing about Ari's irregular blogging, is that now, instead of having the Ari all in one place every few days, we get the Ari in many places, everyday.

Today's gem:

I too thought it was fine and even amusing, until I turned on the news lat night and there he was, in a jean jacket with the word Israel embroidered on the pocket and the Israeli flag on it. And all I could think was;

duuuuuuuude... we have enough problems. Light the menorah and shut up.

I think her blog should just contain a daily schedule of where her comments will be appearing.


An exercise in political speech writing:

"It is true that much of the intelligence turned out to be wrong. As president I am responsible for the decision to go into Iraq,"


With Mayor Bloomberg's increasingly aggressive legal tactics against Local 100 -- the transit union-- my mother officially regrets voting for him.

"If he's supposed to be helping them reach an agreement, why is he only attacking one side?"


Good question.

Ooh, ooh, I know, I know: He's a Republican.


If that at all helps with their decision making.

Word in L.A. this week is that Showtime is in talks to pick up Arrested Development, the comedy about a chaotic family. Sources stressed that the talks are still exploratory and that it would be a big financial commitment on Showtime's part to pick up the show in its current form.

via Karol


Umm...this is a little awkward...seeing as how I don't read your paper unless someone has left a copy behind on the bus or subway. But given the latest cop killing, you know, the one with two white perpetrators, have you gotten around to writing an editorial blaming the glorification of violence in mob movies and television shows? After all, here you have definitive proof that one of the suspects was exposed to that world of hits and sleeping with the fishes.

Well, get back to me. I mean I would hate to think that you believe that only African-American suspects are driven to murder because of pop culture.

Dawn Summers

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


A 37-year-old woman who is seven months pregnant by her 15-year-old groom says she prefers older men, but the teenager aggressively wooed her.

Lisa Clark, who is charged with child molestation, statutory rape and enticing a child for indecent purposes, said in television interviews Monday that she still hopes to make a life with him and their baby.



A 22-year-old man faces up to 50 years in prison after pleading guilty Tuesday to sexual assault charges filed after he impregnated and then married a 14-year-old girl.

Matthew Koso legally married the girl in Kansas after she became pregnant. The girl, 14-year-old Crystal Koso, gave birth August 24 to a girl, Samara.

Sentencing was set for February 7.


I just won't go.

via crazy person


So, imagine my chagrin when I came across this paragraph in an article about colleges:

Harvard or Yale can cost a fortune, but the theory goes that the cost will pay off in future earnings. Many who've studied the numbers disagree. The economist Alan B. Krueger teaches at Princeton University, but in his view, it's probably not worth the money it takes to send your kid there...in most cases, the higher earnings piled up by graduates of elite schools were attributable to elite individuals, not their college education. In other words, if you're smart enough to get into Princeton, you're smart enough to make a lot of money wherever you go to school.

But keep reading...all the way to end...way past this little ditty:

But elite colleges attract elite students--students who might have made a lot of money after attending any old college. (As well as a few possibly undeserving sons and daughters of well-heeled alumni.)

And this one:

Under no circumstances should you pay for a mediocre private school. These make no sense at all.

And you come to:

If you are African American and your kid gets into Yale, do whatever you can to send him or her. Krueger and Dale found that black students get a bigger financial bang from a top-tier school. There is also some evidence that the same applies to students from economically disadvantaged backgrounds generally.



Wall of weird.


The daily financial toll on the city would be extreme, according to the city, with businesses suffering loses between $440 million and $660 million.

The city would lose an estimated $12 million in tax revenues, and police would have to spend $10 million on overtime.

City Corporation Counsel Michael Cardozo told reporters the city "will take appropriate steps to recoup its losses" from the union.

The union charges the MTA has a year-end surplus of $1 billion. But Mayor Bloomberg said on his Friday radio show that the extra money was "mythical."

Of course, I don't understand why Bloomberg is jumping in this fight on the side of the MTA, nor do I understand why the State -- which has in the past shown little short of contempt for NYC subways and its riders -- is now racing to the courthouse to sue a union. You can't force people to work. If they are so critical to the life of the city and state, they should get the pay that reflects that; if they are being underpaid, they only have one way to get those salaries up. It's simple as that.

If the Union is willing to break the Taylor law and pay the fines, that's their perogative.

And since it seems the workers are asking for: "8 percent wage increase in each of the next three years" on modest salaries, seems to be the smart thing to do would be to pay.

The city and the state should be urging the MTA to do whatever it can to avoid a strike, not bullying blue collar workers into submission.

Monday, December 12, 2005


They do.


A truly horrifying story of a guy who was sleeping in his apartment, had his door busted down in the middle of the night and then shot the intruder. It turned out the intruder was a cop -- busting into the wrong house on a drug raid -- and now the guy is sentenced to death.

Oh, and the cop was white (and the son of the police chief) and the guy who's going to be executed is black.

You'd think that when the extreme left and the extreme right agree...it could make a difference.

via Karol

Guns just ain't no good.


What's offensive here is not the imperfect balancing of minority and majority. What's offensive -- also surreal and absurd -- is the notion that Christianity, a faith claimed by 76 percent of all Americans, is somehow being intimidated into nonexistence. Some of the earliest Christians were stoned for their beliefs. In some parts of the world today, Christianity is a crime punishable by death. And the AFA is feeling persecuted because a sales clerk says "Happy holidays?"

That's not persecution. It's a persecution complex.

And it trivializes what Christians claim to uphold: the baby born of a virgin's womb.

Of what importance is a salesman's greeting if you're one of the 76 percent who believe that? The greeting that matters was spoken by angels. The Book of Luke says they appeared before shepherds in a field: "Fear not, for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord."

Linus said it best. "That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."

Much more eloquent than my eyerolling "shut the hell up."


Me: Well, no wonder your boyfriend lost, he had the English as a second language girl again. She's a huge liability.

Pi: It's not just about winning and losing...sometimes it is about how you play the game.

Me: What loser told you that?

Yes, another banner Taboo playing night for Dawn.


Arnold denies 'Tookie's' clemency petition.

Is it wrong that I've been hoping for a denial because I wanted to use that headline?


This post really is just a follow-up to last week's "boo hoo, the press is mean" post.

Two officers have been killed in New York City.
All year.

No doubt, that's bad... two too many, etc.

But here's a quote from the New York Daily News:

The blood of police officers is running ever faster on New York City's streets.

Running in the streets???!?!

Are you kidding me?

More children have been burned to death in the last week than cops killed in the line of duty...same number of children have choked to death on candy as cops shot dead in the line of duty.

But guess what? The headline "Too Many Bloody Badges" in 60 point bold, followed with blood running in the streets, SELLS PAPERS. Which, in the end, is what the New York Daily News is out to do.

Now, imagine if these headlines weren't about two dead cops -- but instead about a thousand dead soldiers.

Rumsfeld would be holding a teary eyed press conference about media bias and how unfair the press is being to him. It's poppycock. This is what the press does -- in every situation.

In fact, if they don't do stories like this about soldiers because they want to "support the war," well, wouldn't that be unacceptable bias?

Sunday, December 11, 2005


Welcome to "Prospect Lefferts Gardens."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA...you know, here's the funny thing about giving the ghetto fancy schmancy names.

When ghetto type things happen and the news vans roll through, the on-air talent has to try --with a straight face, mind you -- to utter the words "The police chased the suspects through Brooklyn's Prospect Lefferts Gardens, where they were finally apprehended at a 2 o'clock this morning."

If you listen real carefully, you can always hear the snicker right before the word "Gardens," since the camera -- filming against a backdrop of abandoned buildings and fried chicken joints, just doesn't lie.

And check out the "tour of the neighborhood" video. Seems to be broad daylight and our tour guides still won't get out of the car!


via Stay Free


Hmm...or was it vote or die...I forget.

Polls close soon, so only a few more clicking days left. So get clicking. And yes, you can vote everyday...in fact, you can vote as many times per day as you have access to different computers.

I've been so swamped this week, that I am woefully late in thanking all the great blogs that endorsed me:

Ace of Spades
Alarming News
Joust The Facts

Make sure you vote for them in their categories as well.

I've also not had to time to spit virtual tobacco in the eye of the crap blogs that unendorsed me.

Make sure to not click that link or leave any comments there.

We're in third to last place right now, but with your help we can move up to fourth to last place, then fifth to last place, then sixth to last place, then seventh to last place, then on to the White House, yeeeeaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh.

That doesn't work in print does it? Oh well.


In 1984, he told Vittorio Messori, the Catholic author, that Limbo had “never been a definitive truth of the faith”.

He said: “Personally, I would let it drop, since it has always been only a theological hypothesis.” The commission is currently chaired by Archbishop William Levada of the United States, appointed by the Pope in May to be his successor as Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.

What's funny is that I just had this conversation about Limbo with Norah a couple of months ago. I had always thought it was just a literary fiction of Dante; but she said the Church had embraced it.

Not any more.

via Karol

Saturday, December 10, 2005


I've finally left the office.

To celebrate, I have spent all the money I earned today buying Christmas presents. For the people at Christmas time.

Christmas Christmas Christmas.

You know what's so awesome about the resurgence of the word Christmas?

I no longer have to think about anybody else's feelings or cultures or traditions.

God and Bill O'Reilly say it's Christmas, so HA...Christmas it is.

The first thing I bought was something for myself: A ticket to see Movin' Out.

The show closes tomorrow and I thought I wanted to see it before it left.

Turns out I really didn't.

I think the look of horror that set upon my face from the "musical's" opening chord straight through the mangling of "New York State of Mind," may very well be frozen there in perpetuity.

So, next time you see me, if I look horribly terrified, it's not you -- it's Twyla.

Unless, you're Twyla, then it is you. Apologize.

You know, I even tried listening to real Billy Joel to wash it away, but sadly, the songs just remind me of the "musical."

There should totally be a tax deduction for small items that you regret purchasing.

I would claim $125 for Movin' Out.

Looks like Iocaste might put down the $11.50 to see Bareback Mountain. Which is sad, because it's all she could talk about at Thanksgiving, well, that and homosexuality in Harry Potter. Yes, it was a very Gay Iocaste Thanksgiving...not that there's anything wrong with that.

Oh, but back to the presents. The Christmas presents.

It's fun. Any idea what to get for babies? What do babies really want anyway? They've got the life...mmmm...baby life.

Sorry, distracted.

Seriously, give yourself the gift of giving.

Yikes, that was a tad afterschool special...must find puppy to torture.

Yessss...torturing puppy will restore the balance...maybe Ari's!




When confronted by Mr. Zongo, the judge said, Mr. Conroy assumed a combat stance, drawing his gun and pointing it at the unarmed man. Yet, the judge said, Mr. Conroy testified at his trial that he had no reason to believe Mr. Zongo had done anything wrong, and was simply following the training he had received about how to persuade somebody in those circumstances to obey the police.

"Is that true? Is that what police are trained to do?" Justice Straus said. "In the city of New York, how can a police officer be trained to communicate with people by taking a combat stance?

Cop gets probation for killing unarmed immigrant in sting operation gone wild.


Just the right amount of sleep to be annoying.


Everyday brings something new and horrible.

Friday, December 09, 2005


On Wednesday, Sen. Joseph Lieberman of Connecticut reproached fellow Democrats for criticizing President Bush during a time of war.
"It's time for Democrats who distrust President Bush to acknowledge that he will be the commander in chief for three more critical years and that in matters of war we undermine presidential credibility at our nation's peril," Lieberman said.

Weicker '06


Damon marries pregnant girlfriend.


Central Park after last night's "storm of the century"

Dawn "memo due, must stop posting" Summers


Atlanta police arrest man for exchanging subway token for cash.



Did you guys ever get that guy down from the crane?

Priorities people.



Officials say they are still looking for his replacement.

Mr. Cates said whomever he chooses as host will need to reflect the mood of the country.

"I'm trying to get a handle on what it is this year, and it's a tough year to get a handle on," he said. "The movies are broad - there are big movies, small movies. I have to get my hands around what this year is like."

Big and small? That so screams Penn & Teller!


Some New Yorkers report a return of the maple syrup smell.


But I think I finally have the weekly poker game I so desperately crave.

Which is good, cause seriously, it's the only time I clean my bathroom.


Churches cancel services on Christmas Day.

Dude, can't they get the Jewish pastor to fill in?


Ask her if she had the ace.

It's fun.

Oh, and Alceste is mean and takes candy from babies.

Treat him accordingly.

Thursday, December 08, 2005


There are two ways to handle being constantly bumped by a jackass who refuses to hold on to a pole, even though the subway car keeps stopping and starting suddenly.

First, you could sternly face the aforementioned jackass, point out that he keeps hitting you -- something he seems not to notice because he has not once apologized -- and strongly suggest that he hold on. This approach may or may not involve expletives. Glaring is a must.

Alternatively, you could take the gum out of your mouth and wait for the train to lurch again. At this point, you aim, sticky gummed fingers first, for his coat shoulder. You then apologize, I mean, you are not a jackass, and then smugly stare at the pink wad stuck to his tweed coat, until it's time for you to get off.

But what did you do Dawn?


If you have to ask, I'm not telling.


via Iocaste


Even if we wanted to.

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said she can give no guarantee that terrorism detainees won't be abused again despite what she called the United States' clear rules against torture.

"Will there be abuses of policy? That's entirely possible," Rice said at a NATO news conference. "Just because you're a democracy it doesn't mean that you're perfect."

So, Howard Dean should be hung because he said he didn't think we could win the war...what will they say about the Secretary of State throwing up her hands on the torture issue...what will they say?


First daughter Barbara Bush was wearing a ring on the third finger of her left hand Wednesday, but the White House said she is not engaged.


Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld said Monday that news media organizations were focusing too much on casualties and mistakes by the military in Iraq and were failing to provide a full picture of the progress toward stabilizing the country.

"We've arrived at a strange time in this country where the worst about America and our military seems to so quickly be taken as truth by the press, and reported and spread around the world, often with little context and little scrutiny, let alone correction or accountability after the fact," he said in a speech at the Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies.

It's called propaganda.

Remember that scene in Farenheit 9/11? The one with the little girl on the swing in pre-invasion Iraq?

Oh, the conservatives were just about mad enough to spit: that's not what saddam's iraq was like, how propaganda, now propaganda, brown cow propaganda. Why doesn't he show the dead Kurds and the weapons of mass destruction and the rape camps, RAPE CAMPS! No...he's showing girls on swings! That fat rat bastard.

In this peaceable kingdom, according to Moore's flabbergasting choice of film shots, children are flying little kites, shoppers are smiling in the sunshine, and the gentle rhythms of life are undisturbed. Then—wham! From the night sky come the terror weapons of American imperialism. Watching the clips Moore uses, and recalling them well, I can recognize various Saddam palaces and military and police centers getting the treatment. But these sites are not identified as such. In fact, I don't think Al Jazeera would, on a bad day, have transmitted anything so utterly propagandistic. You would also be led to think that the term "civilian casualty" had not even been in the Iraqi vocabulary until March 2003.

So, I paraphrased a bit.

Yet, here we are almost two years later, and now those same conservatives are asking nay, rebuking the American media for failing to show little Iraqi boys playing soccer (blah blah girls and women have practically become shutins for fear of being killed) or the soldiers giving chocolate bars to kids in the streets (blah blah roadside bombs and heeeey, the President served Thanksgiving dinner to the troops! (Yeah, yeah, congressmen injured in Iraq two years later.)

The media's job is to bring the news...oh and if you think "Soldiers Build School" is ever gonna run lead over "Insurgents Blow Up School," you're cracked. The press is out to sell subscriptions and advertising, from time immorial consumers want the blood, guts and dirt.

Didn't you see "Newsies"? And that was a DISNEY movie.

So quit your "waaa the media is mean"...you want them to stop publishing obits of dead soldiers? Stop getting your soldiers killed. You want an end to roadside bombing stories? Stop the people bombing the roadsides. Please, no more specials on American torture? Easy. STOP THE TORTURE!

But no. That would be too hard. Instead, we'll just bemoan the unfairness of the press writing stories about the bad things and then curl up in a little ball and suck our thumbs.

Grow a pair. There are kids and overweight single moms, who are training to face real enemies with bullets and bombs, if you can't handle critical words, you've got no damn business leading our troops.

Do your freaking job or step aside.

Whining is no longer an option.



This is the best job ever.

This is the best job ever.

This is the best job ever.

This is the best job ever.

This is the best job ever.

This is the best job ever.

This is the best job ever.

This is the best job ever.

THIS is the best job ever.


This is the best job, ever.

This is the best JOB ever.



ThIs Is ThE BeSt JoB EvEr.

This is the BEST job ever.

Sigh. Where are the drugs?

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


After this soundbite, Chung continued: "Congressman, doesn't that tell you that an invasion of Iraq is justified?"

Thompson began to respond: "Connie, we haven't seen any proof that any of this has happened. I have sat through all the classified briefings on the Armed Services...."

But this questioning of what Bush said appeared to be too much for Chung. She interrupted Thompson's answer, saying, "You mean you don't believe what President Bush just said? With all due respect...you know... I mean, what..."

Faced with Chung's obvious alarm that someone might not take Bush's word as definitive proof, Thompson tried to reassure her: "No, no, that's not what I said.... I said that there has been nothing in the committee hearing briefings that have substantiated this. If there is substantiation, we need to see that in Congress, not hear it over the television monitor."

Later in the broadcast, Chung returned to the question of whether Thompson trusted Bush, suggesting that skepticism toward Bush was equivalent to an endorsement of Saddam Hussein:

Congressman Thompson, there are those who believe that you and your two colleagues who went to Iraq came back with the basic position of President Bush may be trying to tell you something that in his effort to get approval for an invasion in Iraq, that you shouldn't believe. So it sounds almost as if you're asking the American public, "Believe Saddam Hussein, don't believe President Bush."

Oh, that liberal media.


Now Ken's stupid and gross.


Nee pearatty.

What does nee mean anyway?


Brett Butler as Joy's mom.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


Now if only UPN would jump on board so I can get the Veronica Mars season opener.


"There's a large segment of this country that will always vote for the incumbent President even if they don't agree with him or his policies as long as he's the Commander In Chief of our young men and women overseas."

-President Jimmy Carter explaining why the 2004 election results were distorted on 'The Daily Show.'


"I am not a dumbass, I am a smartass." - Jake, who apparently also does whatever Annika tells him to.

The force is strong in that one.


Cause I do whatever Annika tells me.

And she tells me to tell you to add yourselves.

The Gift of Traffic

Happy Birthday, Dawn 2.


Pirro rumored to be dropping out.


Dog eats Grandma.


Please vote. I don't wanna come in last.


"When you've become the president's best friend on the war in Iraq, you should not be in office, especially if you're in the opposing party," Mr. Weicker, 74, said in a phone interview from his home in Essex, Conn. "I'm going to do everything I can to see that Joe Lieberman does not get a free pass."


Monday, December 05, 2005


"I don't need these expensive gifts. Give me the money." -My mother

Bloomberg paid $104 per vote

Nobody told me he was sending out checks.


Hussein called the testimony "laughable" and said, "I am not afraid of execution."

Wack job.


And yet...I am still somehow drawn to it.

Everyone should have wishlists.

Wishlists are the way to go.

For instance, if you ever wonder to yourself: "Hmm...self, I wonder what Dawn Summers would like?" All you'd have to do is click on her wishlist.

See? Easy.

Not that Dawn Summers is easy.

She's not. And whoever said so, is a filthy liar evidently starving for a knuckle sandwich.


You win some, you lose some.

Please note that I am linking to these posts, despite the fact that both those bastards mentioned me without linking to my blog.

I, therefore, am the better person.

I don't have much to say about my own trip to AC, except to say that I am glad Alceste still likes poker as much as I do. By which I mean to say, in a sane, for fun, risk averse, non-hundreds-and-hundreds-of-dollars-kinda way.

He seems to be the only one left of my poker playing friends who does.

Sunday, December 04, 2005



Upon further reflection: Sucker.

Friday, December 02, 2005


All about education and information.


With guns like these, your name can be any damn thing: even Tookie.


Ken scoffs, but the numbers don't lie.

An estimated 13.5 million people stayed up late to watch Winfrey's first visit to Letterman in 16 years, Nielsen Media Research said on Friday. Only three times has Letterman had a bigger audience on CBS -- for his network premiere in 1993 and twice in 1994 in the midst of the Nancy Kerrigan-Tonya Harding ice skating melodrama.


Guy who put these stories one after another on CNN.COM:

Police: Bodies found may be 2 children killed in 2003
Several Connecticut courts evacuated after threat
Intelligence chief: U.S. safer since 9/11


Yale spokesman Tom Conroy said the university has been "having discussions with the government of Peru and we are hoping for a resolution that is satisfactory to all involved."

Suck it, Peru.


Anyone else find this photo utterly depressing?


Is it possible to still be on tilt days and days after your AJ loses to K4 when a four comes on the turn?

Does your answer change if it happens on the same day your set of queens gets beat on the river by some BS straight?

In other poker news:

Girl: You still can't spot straights.
Other girl: Yeah, but I can see flushes right away.
Girl: Ooh, everything's the same shape. Impressive.
Other girl: It's not just shapes stupid, it's also...huh...I guess it is just shapes.


Spawn of Affleck makes her escape.

Thursday, December 01, 2005


How do the super wealthy get out of paying it?


And blah blah blah something about 'Joey' being yanked.

"Joey" has been a huge disappointment for NBC, its audience only a third of that earned by "Friends" in its last season. It will be taken off the air until at least March, after NBC airs the Winter Olympics.

Reilly said "Joey" will be back. Its likely destination is Tuesday night, where NBC will run "Fear Factor" and back-to-back episodes of "Scrubs" from 8 to 10 p.m. starting in January.

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